“Great Expectations”

#sheith | post s8 and Shiro+Curtis wedding | angst, kid fic

Keith never thought Shiro was the type to adopt a kid to save his marriage, but Shiro has been proving all of Keith’s expectations wrong.

~~~

Keith hated how Shiro kept proving his expectations wrong. Each fact that had Keith defined Shiro by was slowly being destroyed.
Keith never thought Shiro was the type of man to marry someone he just met (to retire from a job he loved and fought for, to turn away from the stars)

Keith never thought of Shiro as someone who would have a vow renewal only a year after his wedding.
And Keith absolutely never even considered that Shiro would adopt a child just to preserve an already failing marriage.

Especially since Keith could’ve told Shiro is wasn’t going to work out. Even from their first date.
And not that his opinion was clouded by jealousy, it’s just —

Curtis looked at Shiro like he was some kind of movie star.

But Keith knew better.
Shiro burnt popcorn because he always forgot to listen by the microwave, too preoccupied with the million tasks he’d taken on to help others.
Shiro cried at Up and hated horror movies.
Shiro was brave and steadfast and so much more than just the captain —

of the Atlas.

And Shiro — he looked at Curtis like an escape, like a suburban home with a white picket fence and the only problems are those with your neighbor moving their lawn every Sunday at dawn.
Like Curtis was some bandaid to hold back the torrent of memories space held.

And Keith couldn’t stand by to watch.

Since the wedding, Keith and Shiro had fallen out of contact. Sporadic texts were only sent through the Paladin’s group chat. It was nothing like their long nights in the Castle of Lions or at the Galaxy Garrison when it felt like they —

could talk for hours. Never running out of things to say.

After the vow renewal (of which Keith wasn’t invited to. he was grateful, but that didn’t quell the hurt that all of his fellow Paladins had been in attendance) the texts became less frequent.

So to receive a text message in the middle of the night cycle on the Blade’s base shocked Keith. He pulled his phone out, ignoring the way his heart automatically beat faster at Shiro’s specific vibration pattern.

(Keith hated how ingrained the response was. How desperate he was to hear from Shiro, even though he had been struggling to curb his instincts, to slice out the parts of his heart that still love Shiro and have enough of his heart left to function.)

(He also hated that he hadn’t changed Shiro’s specific text vibration.

It felt pathetic.)

S> it’s official!

Before Keith can ask what the hell is official, a picture follows.
It’s Curtis and Shiro huddled together over a home-bakes cake. The glow of the candles caught the wideness of their smiles and the glint to their eyes. In Curtis hands was a bundle of paperwork.

L>Wait?! You didn’t tell us you were sending in the paperwork!
L>Do you have someone picked out or are you just on the roster??
S>We’re officially parents! We’ve adopted a little girl named Kaiya and we can’t wait for you all to meet her
H>CONGRATS!!!
P>
A>IM SO HAPPY!

Keith set his phone down and collapsed back against his pillow. He couldn’t even fathom what message he could send. Nothing would sound sincere, because the thought curls his stomach and brings back a fresh wave of agony — something he wished he could unlearn —

along side all of his other instincts regarding Shiro.

But even two years after he’d officially lost the man of his dreams, Keith still wasn’t sure how to get over someone.

~~~

Unfortunately the texts became more frequent. Adorable pictures of Kaiya, a rambunctious three year old that had Curtis and Shiro running around the park at her beck and call. The message thread is littered with adorable pictures, and Keith couldn’t stand the reminder.

So he muted the chat. So he left his communicator in his room more and more often. So he got a work specific communicator and let his other die and gather dust on his bedside table.

All of which makes the random phone call all the more ominous.

Keith picked up the phone, pinning it against his shoulder as he continued to sharpen his blade. “Hello?”

“Keith?” Shiro’s voice was like a siren’s call of nostalgia.

In a millisecond, Keith relived every moment between them — every time Shiro called his name, every soft smile and determined confidence, everything that meant the world to Keith, but obviously meant nothing to Shiro.

“Shiro? Are you alright? What’s going on?” Keith said in a single breath, because Shiro never called anymore (and Keith’s lessons in forgetting how much he loved Shiro weren’t going well).

“Keith. Hi. How are you?” There was a stiffness time Shiro’s voice that Keith wishes —

he didn’t recognize from the past three years.

“Fine.” As if ‘fine’ could incorporate the way his knife trembled in his white-knuckles grip.

He wanted to demand an explanation, for Shiro to finally ask for something he wanted rather than always offering to help others first.

“Sorry for the sudden call, but I, uh, I had a favor to ask.” Shiro’s voice was stilted, and Keith merely hummed in response. “It seems Curtis and I accidentally scheduled our second honeymoon during an intergalactic summit so none of the other Paladins can babysit Kaiya.”

“Oh, that sucks.” Keith deadpanned, but he could practically hear the next words before Shiro even spoke them.

“Yeah. So I was hoping you could babysit her for us.”

“How long?” Keith asked, and he purposefully set the knife down. He hated how quickly he was ready to help Shiro.

He thought distance and time would be enough to stop how desperate his heart yearned with every beat.
Whatever progress he thought he’d made was gone.

“Three weeks. If it was any shorter, we could’ve asked Curtis’s family.” Shiro sighed and Keith could picture how he dragged his fingers through his hair, a irritated gesture that had been a tell of Shiro’s mood throughout Keith’s years at the Garrison and beyond.

Shiro continued, voice taking a slightly higher pitch — just on the cusp of begging. “We can even drop her off where you are and pick her up. We’re touring the most romantic destinations in the quadrant so we’ll be around if you need anything!”

Shiro made it sound so simple.

“You know I’m living at the Blades, right?”

“Isn’t the focus on humanitarian efforts now?”

“We still hunt down war criminals, Shiro. It’s not exactly the right kind of place for a toddler.” Keith sighed.

“What kind of missions have you been going on recently?” Shiro sounded inquisitive, like he was trying to curb how desperately he wanted to hear about space.

“Oh uh,” Keith fumbled for an answer, “the last was delivering food and insuring substantial crop growth on a planet.”

“Sounds nothing like what we used to do, huh?”

“Shiro.”

“Hm?”

“I can’t take her. It just wouldn’t be. . . safe.”

“Of course. I wouldn’t want to put you in at position, Keith, especially if you really think she’ll be in danger out there. It would be her first time in space—“

— after all.”

Keith wasn’t sure what to say to that so he said nothing.

“Thankfully we planned a family trip a week away prior to the honeymoon so Kaiya can at least still see space.” There’s a smile in Shiro’s voice.

“That sounds nice.”

“Yeah. I hope it will be too. Thanks for listening, Keith.”

“Anytime.” Keith bit down on his lip to stop any other lovesick words from spilling out.

“Well, it was nice talking to you. Hopefully when we’re out there in two weeks, you can bring us to your favorite place.”

Keith hummed in response, unable to speak beyond the tightness of his throat.

“Okay,” Shiro sounded so defeated, voice threadbare and sigh thin — like Keith really was his last hope. “Bye.”

“Wait!” Keith shouted into the phone. “If — if you really need someone, I guess —

I could watch her.”

“Really?” Shiro’s tone immediately brightened, and the sound filled Keith’s chest with helium. “But you were so unsure of the safety, and I don’t want to put you or Kaiya into any dangerous position.”

“When you’re here for your family trip, you can stop by and see for yourself. I can also stay grounded for three weeks. There’s plenty to do around the base that I’m sure Kolivan would appreciate it.” Keith chuckled and dug his fingers into his hair.

What the actual fuck was he saying? Was he that desperate to see Shiro? To hear the relief in his voice?

“That actually sounds wonderful, Keith. Are— are you sure?”

And because Keith is a masochistic idiot that’s still in love, he somehow says yes.

~~~~

Seeing Shiro was like a punch to the stomach. All the air rushed out of Keith’s lungs as Shiro, Curtis, and Kaiya stepped out of the space craft.

He somehow looked both bigger and smaller. The broadness of his chest was familiar, stretched tight in a classic department —

store sweater (one that Curtis probably picked out). But there was a softness to his form, like the muscles Shiro had built for hard-earned survival were finally wearing away.

Curtis held Kaiya’s hand to keep her from running off and exploring.

She was cuter in person. A spindly thing, all legs and arms with her black hair pinned back in two sagging ponytails. Her mouth was wide open as she took in the sleek chrome interior of the Blades’ loading dock.

“Keith!” Shiro shouted and took a couple quick steps in front of his family to greet Keith first.

Keith fumbled. Was Shiro going to give him a hug? Was that appropriate in front of Curtis? What—?

A warm hand landed on his shoulder. Keith tilted up his chin to see Shiro’s smile.

It was warm and tender and held a million memories.

Keith gave a watery smile in return. “It’s good to see you, Shiro.” Because it wasn’t a lie. It was amazing to see him in person, no matter how his heart ached in his chest and his ribs threatened to cave in.

“It’s good to see you too! I can’t wait to introduce you to Kaiya.” He turned around to grab Kaiya and hoist her into his hip.

“Kaiya,” Shiro spoke softly as she rested her head on his shoulder, “this is my good friend, Keith.”

She regarded him for a moment, eyes squinting as she examined him.

“Hi Kaiya,” Keith said, voice as quiet as Shiro’s (but it was because he felt like all the air was rushing from his lungs.) “It’s nice to meet you.”

“You’re from the pictures,” she announced pointing a finger towards Keith. “The one on Papa’s desk and the one on the fireplace.”

Keith slowly closed his eyes and huffed a ragged breath.

“That’s right Kaiya,” Curtis said. “He’s one of your Papa’s best friends.”

The sincerity in Curtis’ words hurt the most. The fact that Shiro’s husband could still consider Keith Shiro’s best friend was painful on so many levels.

Because why hadn’t they talked if they were still best friends? Why wasn’t Keith invited to the vow renewal? Why?

Or maybe that was all it was.
A friend was all Shiro had ever considered Keith. And that fact shouldn’t hurt more than Shiro and Curtis’ wedding.

But it did.

It stung. Even after all of these years and the constant reminders that Keith was just some stray Shiro picked up.

Keith opened his eyes and propped and hand on his hip. “I hope they’re good pictures.” Keith tried to chuckle but it sounded more like a wet cough instead.

“One is from the wedding, and — and the other is from long, long, looooong ago.” Kaiya was bouncing in Shiro’s hold.

She leaned as far forward as Shiro’s grip would allow so that she could whisper conspiratorially, “It was so long ago that Papa’s hair was allll black.”

From the excitement in her tone and the pure smile on her face, Keith couldn’t help but smile in return.

“That must have been a long long time ago. The dinosaurs were probably still roaming the earth,” Keith joked, eyes glancing up at Shiro and catching the slight blush on his cheeks. “He’s an old man after all.”

“Hey,” Shiro huffed, but there was a lightness to the air.

And somehow, Keith could accept this.

He didn’t realize how cavernous his life felt without Shiro, or only the parts of Shiro he could have. He thought nothing would be worse than seeing Shiro with someone else.

But standing here in the Blades’ pod bay, Keith realizes —

That might not be the case.

“It’s nice to officially meet you, Kaiya.” Keith extends a hand and shakes her little fingers. “Are you excited to explore the base? We have a lot of cool things here.” Turning to look at Shiro and Curtis, “Ready for a tour?”

They keep up casual conversation, asking about the Blades’ current humanitarian efforts. Shiro’s eyes catch every window and linger on the stars beyond.

It strangely seems to being going well.

Until they run into Krolia.

Keith had explained the situation to his mother, expecting a positive response — especially with him staying grounded for three weeks.

It had been anything but.

She had radiated pure fury for days after. Her teeth gritted and snarls broke from her throat without warning.

“I don’t understand why you would do this to yourself, Keith.” She had hissed. “He hurt you, and you just —“

“Just what, Mom? Help him out?” Keith crossed his arms. “He asked so I—“

“When has he /helped/ you these past three years?”

“He. . . hasn’t.”

“Exactly.” Krolia huffed like she had proven her point.

“But he helped me so much. I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for him. I can’t just—leave him,” Keith growled through clenched teeth.

“He left you first, Keith. And I can’t believe you would accept him back after all this.”

Keith turned up his chin and met his mother’s gaze. He regretted the words the second they left his lips. “Yeah. Well so did you.”

So running into Krolia with Shiro, Curtis, and Kaiya in tow was probably the worst that could happen in their little tour.

Sweat colored the fur around her forehead, and by the towel draped around her neck, Keith knew she was coming from the training deck.

She paused at the intersection of the hallways, pressing the corner of the towel to her temple. Her gaze met his. “Keith.” But whatever warmth her tone and posture held vanished the second she caught sight of Shiro.

“Krolia!” Shiro stepped forward with an outstretched hand.

“It’s great to see you!”

Her eyes roamed over Shiro’s form for a minute before she turned on a heel and left without a word.

Shiro brushed a hand through his hair, that same gesture that Keith was so familiar with. But this was tinged with worry.

“Did I do something?” Shiro asked.

“You could say that,” Keith mumbled and pressed forward with the tour, ignoring the heavy weight of the eyes following behind him.

He almost couldn’t believe that he was anxious for his babysitting to start so that Shiro and Curtis would leave

But crazier things had happened.

~~~~

Continuing the tour, Keith pointed out all of the important areas of the base, including the cafeteria, training room, bridge, and lastly his small room.

“And this is my room,” Keith cleared just throat as he stepped through the threshold and hoped all four of them would fit.

“It’s not much, but the room next door is empty, so I was thinking Kaiya could stay there. Would that be okay?”

Shiro glanced around the room twice. “That seems fine to me.”

“There’s no hidden blades, right?” Curtis leaned forward to ask.

And Keith couldn’t stop his smile.

“Yeah. We have a compartment in the bedside table especially for them.” Keith chuckled, ignoring the flash of heat that traveled up his spine at the sound of Shiro’s soft laughter.

“Shiro,” Curtis said, voice soft but carrying an edge, “can I talk to you for a second?”

Shiro glanced between Kaiya hanging from his hand and Keith. “Uh—“

“Alone,” Curtis clarified with a voice like sugared arsenic.

Keith stepped forward and held a hand out to Kaiya. “I’ll just show Kaiya the room next door. See if she needs anything.”

Without another word, Keith took Kaiya’s hand and walked out of the room.

Kaiya was enamored with the alienness of the room she was to call her own for the next 3weeks. Keith let her wander around and explore while he listened to the muffled conversation echoing from his room.

He only caught fragments of sentences.
“Keith said. . .”
“Worried about safety.”
. . .
“Well, I thought the whole point was for us to go alone, but of course. . .”
. . .
“Really? Really Shiro?”
“You know that’s not what I meant, Curtis!”
“Then what did you mean?”

The sudden stillness of the room before him stole his attention away from the echoing fight.

Kaiya sat on the edge of the bed, picking at her fingernails. She glanced up and met his gaze. “Daddy and Papa fight, but don’t worry, they won’t hurt each other. Papa promised.”

There was a sudden tightness to Keith’s throat, a familiar sensation that rose up his throat like bile. It was strange to see himself mirrored in the young child before him.

Closing the distance between them, Keith knelt before her. “Of course.”

“And Papa always keeps his promises.”

“That’s what a good papa does.”

Kaiya nodded. But her face slowly started falling, chin trembling and tears glinting in her eyes. “Papa and Daddy also promised to come back for me. They’ll keep that promise too, right?”

“They will. Do you want to know how I know?” Keith asked and Kaiya nodded as she sniffled. “Shiro has always come back to me, even when I thought he never could. He loves you, and he always keeps his promises.”

Without warning, Keith had an armful of Kaiya.

She wound her arms around his neck and wiped her tears off on his shirt. Quietly shushing her, Keith patted her back.

It was only when her grip loosened that Keith realized she was asleep. Tucking her into bed, Keith slipped out of the room.

~~~~

All in all, Shiro and Curtis’ talk was only about 20minutes. But they both looked haggard, worn at the edges and threadbare, when they stepped from Keith’s room.

Keith glanced up from his work communicator and gave them a stiff smile. “Kaiya’s sleeping.”

“Oh, good.” Shiro breathed, pulling on the hem of his sweater as if to make himself more presentable. “So, Keith, I know we talked about — well, with Kaiya staying here, we thought —“

“Are you still willing to watch her?” Curtis cut Shiro off and cut to the point.

“Of course, if you’re both comfortable with it.” Keith couldn’t stop the way his eyes caught on the exhaustion in Shiro’s expression.

How long had he looked like this? Like one second from death? (And Keith has seen him dead before as a reference point.)

“Thank you, Keith.” Curtis’ smile was wide, like the weight of his fight with Shiro was suddenly lifted off his shoulders. “We really need this vacation.” Shiro joined in Curtis’ soft laughter, but there was a familiar edge —the same stiffness that encompassed their relationship.

“Sure thing,” Keith said, voice thin.

Shiro caught his gaze, and Keith could’ve sworn there was something else glinting within their gunmetal depths.

But Shiro looked away before Keith could even try to decipher it.

~~~~

After a long goodbye with Kaiya, full of kisses and repetition that Keith and Kaiya could call at /anytime/, Shiro and Curtis we’re finally pulling out of the hangar and leaving Keith with Kaiya.

“So,” Keith coughed, suddenly feeling an awkward need to impress Shiro’s 4year old.

“What do you wanna do?”

“Ninja training?” Kaiya asked, and Keith tipped his head back and laughed. “What?” She stomped her foot and crossed her arms. “Daddy said you’re all ninjas. Why is it funny that I want training?”

“It’s not,” Keith couldn’t keep the humor out of his voice

Extending his hand to Kaiya, Keith said, “let’s go find some kid-friendly ninja training.”

Whatever resentment she’d had for Keith due to his laughter was gone in a second. She was practically dragging him down the hallway in her excitement.

After setting up an obstacle course comprised of training mats and punching bags, Keith and Kaiya stepped back to admire their work.
Keith never thought he’d be able to commandeer a training room to occupy a 4 year old, let alone have a group of Blades want to join in on the fun.

Everyone’s time was taken by an unbiased scorekeeper, bcuz they were competing for the single candy bar Kaiya had found in the bottom of her backpack. It was crushed and looked like it had definitely melted and solidified no less that 3 times. But a competition was a competition.

Kaiya was cheering on the sidelines with such enthusiasm that Keith almost couldn’t recognize her as the girl that was crying over the worry her parents would leave just an hour earlier. It took Keith a minute to realize that his face was aching from how much he had been smiling.

And the realization that he couldn’t remember the last time he had been this happy, when he had blown off steam, just had a little careless fun, hit him like a sledge hammer. But before he could settle too deeply into his introspection, Kaiya ran up to him and pulled his hand.

“It’s your turn Uncle Keith!”

Keith tried to deny how his heart softened at the title of “uncle.” Giving her a soft smile, he let himself be dragged to the starting line.
He rolled out his shoulders and cracked his fingers, making Kaiya laugh with his exaggerated antics.

Before they started the clock Kaiya called out, “Wait!!”

She ran up to his side and cupped her hands around his ear to whisper a secret, “I really want the candy bar so you have to win for me.”

Keith pulled back and ruffled her hair. “If I win I’ll give it to you.”

“Promise?” Her eyes were wide.

“Promise. But I know you can win it by yourself.”

She gave him a toothy smile as she ran back to the sidelines and cheered louder than she had for anyone else.

With every once of training and athleticism Keith possessed, he raced through the obstacle course.

Leaning over his knees at the end, he was almost barreled over by an overzealous Kaiya!

“You’re in first place! You won!” She was jumping up and down.

“That’s only because you haven’t gone yet,” Keith chuckled around his labored exhale.

Kaiya gave him a nervous smile as she stepped up to the starting line. But her confidence grew as she realized that all of the Blades’ were cheering for her, encouraging her just as she had done for them.

With a bright smile, she took off.

And if Kaiya didn’t know that they started the timer a minute late, it wouldn’t hurt the victorious smile on her face as she won to the sound of the Blades’ deafening cheers.

She cradled the candy bar to her chest and offered to share it with Keith later.

When he tucked her in to bed, Kaiya whispered, “Can we do that again tomorrow?”

“But we don’t have any more candy bars for you to win,” Keith joker.

“No, silly. I meant play with everyone. It was really fun,” she whispered into her pillow, swallowing a sleepy yawn.

“Of course,” Keith said, brushing a strand of hair out of her eyes before leaving for his own room.

Keith settled onto his bed, and almost thanked Shiro for letting him watch Kaiya, for bringing such joy and brightness into his life after the last three years of darkness.

Both of which were inadvertently Shiro’s fault. But Keith couldn’t fault him for either.

~~~~