Football, of course, is only ever the most important of all the least important things in life - and during this crisis, has ceased to have any significance at all in the great scheme of things.

But even against that backdrop, what is going on in Scotland is fucking MENTAL.

For the uninitiated amongst you, Scottish football is astonishingly corrupt at the best of times. Through its referees, its media and above all, its joke administrators, It exists to serve the purposes of two clubs only. Everyone else can get stuffed.

But what happens when, as is common, the interests of those two clubs diverge?

When the season was suspended, Celtic were 13 points clear; Rangers had one game in hand. Celtic were pretty much certain to win the league. Which would make 9 in a row for them, equalling the record.

That, of course, would be a disaster for Rangers, who appointed Steven Gerrard to stop that (and more than anything, to stop 10 in a row).

So it was that the SPFL came up with the most batshit mental, bonkers proposal ever seen.

They want to call the season NOW - to crown Celtic as Champions, but also promote one team from each division and relegate another based on average points per game. Even though there are 8 or 9 games left to play in the top division; even though playoffs were supposed to happen.

Why do they want to do this? They claim it's because they can't distribute any funds to frantic clubs fighting for their financial lives until the final positions have been confirmed. This probably has something to do with TV contracts, and their fear of these being voided.

The problem with football - and the problem with football in Scotland more than anywhere else I've ever come across - is... self-interest. Even the Premier League has collective bargaining. In Scotland, the distribution of prize money is a stitch-up to begin with.

And so is its ridiculous 11-1 requirement to change the composition of the leagues and create something of benefit to the whole game in Scotland. As a result, a 12-team top division, complete with the ridiculous split, has continued for the past 20 years.

These circumstances have offered an ideal opportunity - which any organisation with a clue would've taken - to expand to 14. To promote two clubs from the Championship and relegate nobody. Relegating clubs when a season isn't anywhere near completed is scandalous. A nonsense.

Naturally, with so many clubs desperate for funds, self-interest has ruled. Celtic have voted for because it means they're Champions again. Rangers have denounced what's going on because it means... Celtic are Champions again (while pretending to care about Hearts instead).

Hearts have voted against because under these insane proposals, they'd be the biggest losers of all, and would be relegated. As would Partick Thistle and Stranraer, with Dundee United, Raith Rovers and Cove Rangers all promoted.

In Dundee United's case, they're so far clear in the Championship that not promoting them would be a travesty. But in Falkirk's case, they're one single point behind Raith; Stranraer still have plenty of mathematical hope; and Partick are just two points behind Queen of the South

The numbers in all of this - promoting one, relegating one, screwing maybe one other club in each division by denying them a playoff place or a shot at promotion - made it a stitch-up from the off.

9 Premiership clubs were required to vote for. 10 have.

15 League 1 and 2 clubs were required to vote for. 16 have.

That leaves the Championship - and the most bizarre situation I've ever seen in Scottish football (which, believe me, is truly saying something).

8 out of 10 clubs were required to vote for. 7 have.

But whereas it was reported that all 3 of Partick (for obvious reasons), Inverness (because they're 2nd) and Dundee (because they're 3rd) were all going to vote against - scuppering the entire thing - as of last night, the SPFL claim to have only received 9 votes from the Champ.

One vote is missing. The media all seem certain it's Dundee. The question is: what's going on?

Did Dundee send a 'No', only for the SPFL to refuse to accept it? Did Dundee spoil their ballot paper in protest? Did Dundee make some technical error in submitting it?

Or have they, instead, not voted at all? No-one knows for sure.

But we now find ourselves in the extraordinary situation in which Dundee (assuming the media are right, and it is them) KNOW they have the casting vote on the entire thing: the fate of all 42 clubs.

That compromises an already ludicrous process even further. And it also invites the likelihood of some major arm-twisting from the powers that aren't. Bribery, in other words.

If Dundee stay down, of course they face a financial hit. They've also been asked to vote their rivals into the top division. Not something many clubs - especially in Scottish football's internecine world of bald men fighting over a comb - would do.

But by the same token, every Scottish club needs money NOW. Desperately. Plenty will likely go to the wall without it.

Hearts have hinted at legal action if they're forcibly demoted. My question on that is: could we (I'm a Hearts fan) possibly afford it? I doubt it.

But what's going on right now would certainly strengthen our case. The whole process looks corrupt beyond imagination. It stinks to high heaven.

Regarding which, Rangers - who've cultivated a persecution complex ever since 2012 - have certainly sniffed an opportunity.

Hated by the fans of practically every other club for their cheating, their tax dodging and their disgusting attitude to it since paying the penalty, Rangers are now posing as the saviours of 'sporting integrity': citing their outrage at what's going on.

I'm not buying that Rangers give a damn about Hearts (or Partick, or Stranraer) for a single moment. But this is the first time I can recall in many decades that they're playing the PR game to perfection.

If something untoward is happening in Dundee's case, Rangers will, I'm quite sure, make it front and centre of their argument... and they'll be pressuring Dundee just as Hearts will be and, on the other side, the SPFL and so many clubs who've voted For will be too.

It's Rangers, I think, who could perhaps help Hearts if legal action becomes necessary. But more broadly, this is a farce, The damage being done to Scottish football's already non-existent reputation is massive and hugely long-lasting.

It needs urgent reconstruction. Its administrators should all be forced out at once. And its media has to grow a pair and start telling the truth.

Regarding which, @Kheredine2018 is a great follow. And so is @TEnglishSport.

There's plenty more to come out - so watch this space