Something I want to be clear. I did everything right.

I have been eating well. I have had social play-time. I have been exercising. I have been sleeping fully. My work productivity is reasonable. My apartment is clean.

I am still spending my Friday night crying.

I am grieving what my Easter weekend was supposed to be. I hate living alone. My brain is just tired and sad.

Please don& #39;t believe the self-narrative of if you could just be "more" this would not be so bad.

This is bad.

It is hard because my everyone has really stepped up to help me get through this, and I adore you all. It is not for nothing. I am probably in a better shape than I would be otherwise. I have so many Ups.

I just think the Downs are inevitable.

That& #39;s all. If you are feeling sad, there does not exist a version of you for whom this would not be profoundly unsettling + miserable.

Please do not take your misery out on the current version of you.