There is something deeply disturbing to me when someone refers to a child’s - especially a young child - behaviour as “abusive”.

A parent-child relationship has a gigantic power imbalance. A child being a child - a child being a neurodivergent child - is not abusive.

Yeah I’m subtweeting That Film Review here but also some people’s comments about my kid’s behaviour. “You can’t put up with that! That’s abusive” no it is fucking NOT.

Sometimes our kids have needs that we CANNOT meet. Sometimes - especially with our neurodivergent kids who can struggle so much - there is no correct response. For us or for them. Sometimes things are painful and messy.

Sometimes “all i have got” isn’t enough.

And that absolutely does NOT say anything about how much the child needs. Some days my son needs more of my attention than I can give him. That is a fact. The fact I can’t give it doesn’t downgrade his need to an unreasonable desire.

Anyway that’s a tangent.

Kids fuck shit up and their parents and caregivers take responsibility and clean it up as best they can. That’s part of the whole parenting deal and that’s why we don’t just swim away from our babies at birth like sharks.

The kid is not the one with the potential to abuse that power imbalance and it’s really upsetting to me - as a child of two abusive parents - for people to think or say or imply that a kid is abusive to their parent or caregiver.

I’m just. I am so upset by that statement??