I’ve been lost for 1.5 yrs. I wish that I had NEVER googled #DID after my dx. I had no clue what it was or what it meant. If I just allowed myself to heal on my own, without someone else telling me what & HOW I was experiencing my own reality, maybe I would of not been lost.

I was very vulnerable and gullible during that time. I believed I couldn’t handle it, that I wasn’t capable of surviving it on my own. I had always felt that it was best if people told me my reality, which isn’t too hard to assume considering that’s what’s happened my whole life

I was chased by a ghost all my life, a ghost that was familiar yet foreign & not something I should trust. Had I allowed myself time to feel broken, worked on my unhealthy need to feel safe, I would have understood it better to see it was to be valued but didn’t know it was me

I didn’t know what safe felt like and where I got ‘help’ also made me feel alone . It was a toxic place and wasn’t a safe at all. Doesn’t matter how good intentions are if theres no accountability. Places that are safe shouldn’t ever make you otherwise & if they

do it’s okay to walk away. I wish I did. Maybe I’d be further in recovery. I wondered why no one talked about that part online, only how to get dx with it it seemed. I didn’t understand my disorder cuz it wasn’t at all what they described. I didn’t feel I could ask why either.

I have #dissociativeidentitydisorder but it’s not who I am. I also won’t let others define me or the way my disorder should be. I cannot agree with most of what is portrayed and the way things are handled. But I must cut ties if it questions or belittles my experience.

I can safely say that I am getting to know myself. Strange as that may sound for a person with #DID to say, but I hate labels. Labels have followed me in my past and don’t want them in my future. But I will just say this; I am not a victim; I survived;

My truth is my truth. What I feel is what I feel. No one can tell me anything different. I have my values & what I believe and that’s a beautiful thing. If someone ever tries to silence you please speak out, differing opinions doesn’t mean venom and respect is always earned