I think one of the worst parts of having ADHD, at least for me, is that I cannot relax and do nothing to save my life because I end up horribly understimulated and my brain demands I do something to fix that.

I tried to take a warm bath just now to relax and process stuff but my brain was like "nope. go level Astrologian in FFXIV." So I'm in a maddening situation where I just cannot destress no matter what.

And it feels like I'm losing my identity sometimes because my brain refuses to let me slow down and just process events as they come and decide how I want to interpret everything in relation to me.

Sometimes I feel like my identity and mood is just...non existent because of this because I'm really often just flatly incapable of having a consistent one.

Also, rejection sensitive dysphoria is *chef's kiss* The Worst

Those aspects of ADHD basically mean that my mood is wildly inconsistent and can swing from apathy and nothing to anger to sad and back to apathy in rapid fire succession and external stimuli can have a dramatic affect on that, usually in a negative way.

This, as you might expect, makes all social interaction extremely difficult and mentally draining.

To be clear, I wasn't really asking anything with this thread, just felt I had to put my thoughts somewhere