Ok I think I'm ready to tell the story of how the pharmacy tried to kill me. This is probably gonna be a long thread but here goes.... https://twitter.com/JamaicanLabrat/status/1242922418626314246

(Before I begin, I appreciate the messages telling me to seek legal action and I've considered it so you don't need to say it again.) So let's go.

You may/may not know that I'm crazy (bipolar) so I take crazy people medication to balance my brain chemistry

A couple weeks ago I went to fill my prescription, as I do every month, for the two medications I take. While I was picking something else up, the pharmacist called and told me they didn't have the regular generic form of one of my meds, did I mind a different brand?

Even though generic meds are the same combination, I know that sometimes people react slightly differently when brands are changed, so I asked her repeatedly if she was sure it was the same thing and she assured me yes. And I wasn't paying 13K for the brand name drug.

Anyway I went home and I still had some pills left from my previous prescription. I looked at the pills and noticed that BOTH of the medications were different, which was odd because she only mentioned one....but I shrugged it off figuring generics are generics.

A few days later, it was time to take the first pills from the new set. Interestingly, I was with a friend when I took the pills and I was joking that "if I die, it's because of these new pills they gave me".

LITTLE DID I KNOW.

About half hour after taking them (200mg) my head started to feel a little light. I hadn't eaten much that day so I figured that was it, and I had a quick errand to run. So I planned to just run out, and come back then have dinner.

I started to drive and I knew immediately that something was different. I couldn't figure out what it was, but everything just felt off. This was right after the first covid lockdowns, so at first I was like "ok the place is probably just dark cuz places are closed"

As I continued to drive it became apparent that my perception of distance and space was completely shot. I vaguely remember crossing the stoplight at Devon House and then immediately arriving at South Ave, almost missing the turn because I had no concept of the length of the road

I stopped at a gas station and nearly crashed into a parked car, and by then I was aware that something was totally totally off. Was I high? No. Drunk? No. Then WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING.

My goal at that point was to just finish what I came out to do and go straight home. I drove to my friend's house to pick something up and I had to do a three-point turn at her gate. I had absolutely no concept of where my car was in relation to the curb or how I even did it...

I sent a VN to another friend at that point, because I didn't know what else to do. I know my distance and depth perception were off, but I couldn't figure out why. And as bad as it was, I still needed to get home. It was only a 10 min drive, so I just took a deep breath...

If I thought the original drive was bad, the return trip was HELL ON EARTH.

I've never hallucinated before, or had psychosis or any other condition where I've been unable to distinguish reality, and although I've always wondered what it was like, I know it was something I never ever ever wanted to experience.

I remember driving back up South Ave and stopping at the red light at the Waterloo intersection, telling myself "Eleanor you have to get it together. Just get home". I distinctly remember turning right at JoJo's and I knew nothing else until I glimpsed the sign at Pulse complex

By this point, the road looked completely unfamiliar to me. I knew where I was because of the landmarks, but I couldn't recognize anything. I hope and pray that all the lights were green, because I know I didn't stop.

The rest or Trafalgar road was a messsss. The sidewalks weren't where they were supposed to be, the road was narrower than usual, and I almost missed my turn because it didn't look ANYTHING like my road.

Driving into my gate, I remember the gate itself looking warped, like someone had squished it in Microsoft Paint, but hallelujah, I was home.

But then I had to park.

It seemed so easy, but as I was lining up to reverse in, I just couldn't figure it out. I turned the wheel from one lock to the other, just back & forth without moving for about 5 minutes, but it just didn't make sense. I eventually broke down bawling and called someone to help.

Now that I was home safe, I immediately suspected the "new brand of generics" I had gotten. I didn't expect a huge reaction like this, but what else could it be? The person who came to help me just looked at me like I was crazy and sort of dismissed the idea.

But I knew my body, and I knew my mind, fractured as it may be. And I knew that this wasn't normal. After speaking with my psychiatrist, I went back to the pharmacy to see if I could return the pills and get my usual generics elsewhere.

AND THIS IS WHERE THE STORY TURNS

The first thing the pharmacist told me was that they don't do refunds on loose pills. There were a bunch of people before me (coughing in COVID times btw) so she said she'd talk to me in a few. I used the time to head over to another pharmacy to see if they had my brand in stock

I showed the pharmacist there both of my bottles and explained the situation. She dismissed me at first saying "if that's what's on the bottle, that's what it is", but another pharmacist looked at me curiously, and said she'd check on it for me.

This pharmacist came back to me after a while and said "Look I don't know what they gave you, but this is not lamotrigine. You need to go back and let them show you the bottle that they came from."

AND THAT WAS WHEN I KNEW! I KNEEWWW this wasn't some reaction to another generic

So I went back to the original pharmacy and I begged them to please please check the bottle and fix it, because I already paid for this medication and I just need my pills. ONE lady was very apologetic while the rest of the staff could care less, laughing amongst themselves.

They gave me enough (OF THE CORRECT) generic pills to last 10 days and told me they'd source the rest for me since I already paid for them. After all this running around I was starting to feel light-headed again, so I made a beeline for my yard.

Not only did I take the wrong medication, I also missed my correct dose for the day. Mood stabilizers aren't meds you can just stop taking immediately, you have to wean off of them, and my body didn't have a chance to do that.

My brain chemistry at that point was just a slurry of confusion. I hit a debilitating depression, which was probably exacerbated by the trauma of the whole experience. I couldn't eat, couldn't shower, couldn't function.

I felt gutted because I had worked so hard to maintain my mental health, and now it was shot, and it wasn't my fault this time. I ended up self-harming for the first time in 9 years (BIGGEST REGRET) and made terrible choices by picking fights and just being a bitch.

After a couple days my love @VikkiG_JA came by and helped me get up, eat something, take a shower and get myself in order. Back on my correct meds, I was able to level out again and resume life like a normal person. Unfortunately the damage over that weekend was already done.

It was a little traumatic to deal with, and it took me a while to feel comfortable behind the wheel again. I know it was pure muscle memory that got me home that night, but what if it happened again when more people were on the road?

As much as I wanted to forget it ever happened, I'm always torn between sharing my story, because I wish I'd read a thread like this before this all happened. So check your meds people, and if your gut is telling you something might be off, listen to it.

Supremely grateful for my support system @LB_Kojo who came in clutch all the way from Wales when I didn't know who else to ask. @rosheikagrant and @JKavJA for continually checking in on me, @VikkiG_JA for physically getting me up, and to the others who I won't/can't tag here.