SPIDER TRIGGER WARNING! Also... my quarantine workout is legit. https://www.instagram.com/p/B-0VujinIs6/?igshid=1u18nbgik2k56

OH FUCK, IT’S GONE!

Pleasebethewrongfloorpleaaebethewrongfloorpleasebethewrongfloor

I’ve taken off my headphones so I can hear when it attacks.

HOW CAN IT HIDE? IT’S THE SIZE OF A BUICK!!

I am BUMMED my last words are gonna be, “Oh, shiiiiiiiit.” That’s so unoriginal.

One of my best friends is a botanist and hates spiders. She said naming them and greeting them often helped quell her fears.

I dunno, saying “Hi, Bloody McThirstyfangs,” isn’t helping.

Hey. ITunes. Fuck right the fuck off.

Trent Reznor is gonna get me through this. He’s like an emotional flame-thrower.

OMG!!!!! She came back out at exactly the right count! Holy crap. I have the best. Trainer. EVAR!!!

We now return you to your regularly scheduled cookies.