Possibly unsolicited advice:

I was reflecting on my time at UVA, and yes, I was dangerously depressed for most of it, but in addition to getting psychiatric help, I also had a much better time after I stopped doing things I thought I should do and focused on what I wanted to do.

I spent my first two years doing things I thought I should be doing: I sang in BV 1st year, I was on BSA exec and was a PA 2nd year. I was an OL and worked Days on the Lawn. I tried very hard to make a Foreign Affairs major work until it was clear I was making myself miserable.

I tried (and failed) to gain access to many activities that were on brand for me: a capella, StudCo, Guides.

I’ve always been a rigid person and it took me a couple years to let go of the perfect four years/vision of what my time at UVA was supposed to be like.

Only two things made it from my second to third year transition: The French House and being an Intern in Outreach, a position I had made for myself by basically being a fixture in the lobby of Peabody during my first semester Dean Gregory took pity on me and let me work

I realized that I didn’t love the things it seemed like most people were doing and loved, though I tried some of them.

I found myself directing my energy where my heart was:

So I doubled down on interning at Outreach, and became more involved in leadership at the language houses and did a summer study abroad because I loved French more than just about anything.

I became an intern for my scholarship org, Ridley, which enabled me to give back +

To the foundation that have made it possible for me to go to school. I loved pouring into the younger and new scholars.

Fourth year brought even more new adventures: I became RA at the French House, taught my own class thru CavEd & made my way back to theater w Black Monologues

My fourth year was truly my best year. For the first time at UVA, I was truly okay. Happy even. I loved everything I was doing, I loved what my future held, I loved the people that surrounded me.

It’s okay if things take time to fall into place. It’s okay if you have to stop and start and reset. It’s also okay if it’s not what you dreamed it would be.

My experience certainly wasn’t.

But I still carry the diamonds I uncovered during my time there with me.

So my advice, then, I suppose, is to be flexible and allow yourself the time and space to find your space and your people. Be patient if it takes long than a week ().

You’re growing. Honor that.

Just breathe.