Twitter: WE'RE ALL BAKING BREAD!!!!!!

Me: Sounds like a great idea! I'm an excellent cook. That will naturally transfer into baking.

Bread: Ha.

Me: Going to rise soon?

Bread: Nope.

Me: How about now?

Bread: Looks like you're just making some dough today.

Me:

My sainted Italian grandmother is feeling some shame right about now.

I just accused my mom of killing my bread. The cooking skill skipped a generation and she walked by the oven.

Yeasterday, all my troubles seemed so far way
Now my dough won't rise it's been all day
Oh I believe in yeasterday.

Suddenly,
My dough is half the size it is supposed to be
Now there'll be no bread at all for me
Oh Yeasterday, came suddenly.....