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I’m thinking of making a thread of all my near death experiences
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤔" title="Thinking face" aria-label="Emoji: Thinking face">
Ayyt lesss getit
This is a 3-part series based on true events but some parts have been exaggerated for dramatisation purposes (or something like that)
This is a 3-part series based on true events but some parts have been exaggerated for dramatisation purposes (or something like that)
Part 1
I was about 7/8 yrs old and my mom and I were at my dad’s house (we used to live in a different province because of her job) so I woke up pretty early and I was kinda hungry so I asked my parents to make me food but they were sleeping and my brothers were the only ones up
I was about 7/8 yrs old and my mom and I were at my dad’s house (we used to live in a different province because of her job) so I woke up pretty early and I was kinda hungry so I asked my parents to make me food but they were sleeping and my brothers were the only ones up
So there I am chilling on the couch hungry as shit... so I ask my bros to make me some food and they’re like “voetsek saan make your own” (RUDE!!https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💔" title="Broken heart" aria-label="Emoji: Broken heart">) time I’m only a bundle of joy
I’m hella touched because no one wants to make me foodhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face"> but I eventually dragged myself to the kitchen (actual picture of me on the left)
but I eventually dragged myself to the kitchen (actual picture of me on the left)" title="I’m hella touched because no one wants to make me foodhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face"> but I eventually dragged myself to the kitchen (actual picture of me on the left)">
but I eventually dragged myself to the kitchen (actual picture of me on the left)" title="I’m hella touched because no one wants to make me foodhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face"> but I eventually dragged myself to the kitchen (actual picture of me on the left)">
So I get to the kitchen and make one of the best sandwiches ever made by a childhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😤" title="Face with look of triumph" aria-label="Emoji: Face with look of triumph">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🔥" title="Fire" aria-label="Emoji: Fire"> we’re talking cheese, vienas, ham and mayonnaise... so to be a little extra I decide to put it in the toaster just for that baabaatiiihttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😋" title="Face savouring food" aria-label="Emoji: Face savouring food">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤤" title="Drooling face" aria-label="Emoji: Drooling face">
So the toaster is done toasting and now it’s time to munchhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😋" title="Face savouring food" aria-label="Emoji: Face savouring food"> but before that I had to unplug it from the extension cord (this is where it gets dark)https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😬" title="Grimacing face" aria-label="Emoji: Grimacing face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😬" title="Grimacing face" aria-label="Emoji: Grimacing face">
but before that I had to unplug it from the extension cord (this is where it gets dark)https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😬" title="Grimacing face" aria-label="Emoji: Grimacing face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😬" title="Grimacing face" aria-label="Emoji: Grimacing face">" title="So the toaster is done toasting and now it’s time to munchhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😋" title="Face savouring food" aria-label="Emoji: Face savouring food"> but before that I had to unplug it from the extension cord (this is where it gets dark)https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😬" title="Grimacing face" aria-label="Emoji: Grimacing face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😬" title="Grimacing face" aria-label="Emoji: Grimacing face">" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>
I’m struggling to unplug the toaster daar, ebile ka juluga https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😓" title="Face with cold sweat" aria-label="Emoji: Face with cold sweat"> so I ask my bros to unplug it for me and once again they say “voetsek saan” I’m like okay these niggas ain’t shiii
so I ask my bros to unplug it for me and once again they say “voetsek saan” I’m like okay these niggas ain’t shiii" title="I’m struggling to unplug the toaster daar, ebile ka juluga https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😓" title="Face with cold sweat" aria-label="Emoji: Face with cold sweat"> so I ask my bros to unplug it for me and once again they say “voetsek saan” I’m like okay these niggas ain’t shiii" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>
So I’m trying to figure out how I’m gonna unplug this thing before I eat...
So right on the counter is a stainless steel teaspoon “mhhmm this could work” I said in my pure dumbness
So I carefully place the teaspoon in between the plug and the extension (vvvv bad decision) I was so convinced this was gonna work
So the plug loosens and before I knew it FAAAAAAA!!!! I felt something move from my finger up until my shoulder
Everything became dark for about 30 seconds and I started seeing lightning in my head... “Yohhh mawehhhh”: I screamed in pain
My brothers didn’t care, they were pissed because I tripped the main switch and the tv turned off (them niggas lowkey hate me)
My dad storms out of his room in his boxers featuring mokhabahttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Rolling on the floor laughing" aria-label="Emoji: Rolling on the floor laughing">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Rolling on the floor laughing" aria-label="Emoji: Rolling on the floor laughing"> when he gets there he starts shouting at everyone (akitsi why) and all I wanted to do was eat my sandwich
They asked me why I did what I did and I was like “no one wanted to make me food akere, bona nou ampor ke saata”
My brothers got a young beating because they almost killed me and nna I devoured my sandwich in peace (I didn’t care that my arm was painful) that was the last day I made food for myself for about 2 yearshttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😊" title="Smiling face with smiling eyes" aria-label="Emoji: Smiling face with smiling eyes">
THE END.
Part 2 (I almost burnt my face off)
Fast forward some months after part one...
I’m back in Limpopo (Bela bela) where I lived with my Mom, you guys should know that my mom used to go out a lot back thenhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Rolling on the floor laughing" aria-label="Emoji: Rolling on the floor laughing"> ne ele mahamba busuku so I knew that most fridays I would sleep ko Makhi
Fast forward some months after part one...
I’m back in Limpopo (Bela bela) where I lived with my Mom, you guys should know that my mom used to go out a lot back then
One Friday ka winter my mom said she’s taking me to makhi coz yena o bo hlaba le bras tsa gae, I didn’t have a flop because I was gonna sleep over at my friends house.(we didn’t live in the burbs back then, ne ele kasi e oright fela)
So while I’m at Makhi’s crib the lights go outhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👀" title="Eyes" aria-label="Emoji: Eyes"> ehhh scene
Makhi (my friends mom) decides to start a fire outside, Akere ke winter, so we all go outside to chill around the fire. It was me, my friend le makhi
And I was sitting on those chairs that don’t have a back rest I think it’s called a stoolhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤔" title="Thinking face" aria-label="Emoji: Thinking face">
And I was sitting on those chairs that don’t have a back rest I think it’s called a stool
We’re busy there laughing having a good time at around 9pm, be gole monate no liehttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😊" title="Smiling face with smiling eyes" aria-label="Emoji: Smiling face with smiling eyes"> makhi was also telling us scary stories about boloyi ba daarhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😬" title="Grimacing face" aria-label="Emoji: Grimacing face">
After about an hour I start to get sleepy. “Cheofacho ngwanaka, tsamo robala” said makhi in her motherly tone (for some reason, those people couldn’t pronounce my name properly ke TSHEGOFATSO!)but anywayyy
I’m like Nahh dawg ke monate
I’m like Nahh dawg ke monate
I was sitting pretty close to the fire because it was cold...
So there I am quarter to dozing off.
Y’all know that moment when your head is about to go down but you wake up before it gets down? Ele nna ka nako eo
So there I am quarter to dozing off.
Y’all know that moment when your head is about to go down but you wake up before it gets down? Ele nna ka nako eo
My head went down twice but I was able to recover both times, tshaba fela the 3rd timehttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">I landed Face First in the fire Shaaaaa!!! (For real) before I knew it my forehead was boma medium rare to well done
My friend pulls me up and before I knew it ke ultwa tswaaa mo sefatlhegong, makhi is busy throwing water at my face (at this point ho fuckenhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🔥" title="Fire" aria-label="Emoji: Fire">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😬" title="Grimacing face" aria-label="Emoji: Grimacing face">) makhi is PANICKING DAWG but nna I couldn’t feel anything
After a few splashes of water my forehead starts to itch and I can’t stop scratching it, I could feel my tissue peeling off my skullhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😩" title="Weary face" aria-label="Emoji: Weary face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😢" title="Crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Crying face">
Makhi wants to rush me to the hospital but her husband took the car to go drinking Ko kae kaehttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤭" title="Face with hand over mouth" aria-label="Emoji: Face with hand over mouth"> so she carries me on her back and goes door to door asking people to take us to the hospital
Finally someone helps us, we jump in the car and go straight to the hospital... My face was still itchy and peeling
That man wasn’t driving properly but I understood because it was an emergency
That man wasn’t driving properly but I understood because it was an emergency
So we get to the hospital, the doctors check me out daar
Luckily the burns weren’t that severe, my eyes and rest of my face was okay but my forehead was ripe along with part of my hair
Luckily the burns weren’t that severe, my eyes and rest of my face was okay but my forehead was ripe along with part of my hair
The doctor did her thing and gave me some cream and wrapped my head with a bandage, My mom arrived early in the morning (she was probably tossed but I don’t remember)https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">
I had a scary scar for a while but it eventually disappeared, now my forehead is finehttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😊" title="Smiling face with smiling eyes" aria-label="Emoji: Smiling face with smiling eyes">
THE END.
THE END.
THE END." title="I had a scary scar for a while but it eventually disappeared, now my forehead is finehttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😊" title="Smiling face with smiling eyes" aria-label="Emoji: Smiling face with smiling eyes">THE END." class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>
