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I haven& #39;t spoken to my mom in 3 days because our last conversation was a disaster. She started by complaining that my brother didn& #39;t pick up so she had to call me. And she said that I only picked up because I need her in order to have children.
I tried to change the conversation to just ask about her day and she started talking about how great Trump was and how the Governor& #39;s want him to look bad. She kept going on and on and then talked about how he& #39;ll be POTUS for 4 more years and how wonderful that& #39;ll be.
Then she started attacking a family friend for hating Trump and said that family friend was as emotional and ignorant as I was. If we just stopped listening to the MSM we& #39;d understand how great Trump is. And then continued the ad hominem attacks and perpetuating his lies.
Since the conversation was off the rails, I ended up cutting her off and telling her that I& #39;m not interested in this conversation and ended it - as I usually do when she does this. We haven& #39;t spoken since. Her MO is to wait for me to call her so she doesn& #39;t have to "look weak".
I know during a pandemic is the worst time to get into one of these pissing matches, since we should be cherishing every conversation and the such. But, I just don& #39;t feel like calling her back. Maybe I don& #39;t want to give her this "victory"? That seems petty and dumb, I know.
But...maybe I don& #39;t feel like being the bigger person all the time? I kind of enjoy not dealing with the toxicity that occasionally comes from these conversations? But at the same time, over 30 years of filial piety means that I& #39;m feeling guilty af.
But I didn& #39;t start the political part of the conversation, I held my tongued until I had to defend the friend and later myself. She started the whole thing by making snide comments about my fertility. I tried everything in the book to make it a "good" conversation.
I& #39;ve dissected and gone through the conversation backwards and forwards trying to figure out what I could have done differently and I can& #39;t figure it out. I& #39;m just too exhausted to deal with another phone call, but at the same time I& #39;m worried about not checking in.
I don& #39;t know what the point of this thread was. I just needed to get it off my chest. Both the venting and the guilt. It& #39;s frustrating and stressful dealing with her nonsense. My therapist says I need to figure out a better way to cope with my mom because she& #39;ll never change.
I have no clue what those ways would be though. Those adaptive thinking skills worksheets only go so far when dealing with these conversations.
