There's this trope I hate - were a woman can just slap on men's clothing, maybe fake facial hair, and be seen as a man and get all the benefits - that actively gives people a misconception of trans men's actual lived experiences that leads to our struggles being written off

And that's at best. At worst it sees us getting vilified from everyone, even within our own community, and losing support.

It doesn't help that even we can push this trope onto ourselves and say it relates to us with how so many of us say we loved Mulan and connected to her

I don't think I've ever seen people talking about this but media that depicts women being able to easily pass off as cis men is harmful to us trans men. It's this very misconception that is why people argue we instantly get make privilege (even when not on t) and attack us

And people don't even really realise WHY they think this. Most cis people see us as women, but I've also been treated like this from family members who's actively saw me as a girl still. It's paradoxical and yet it's how we're seen. As threatening women clawing at power.

It also sucks because a lot of the people that are more progressive and left, and still fall for this misinformed trope, don't even realise it? And it's not like it's misgendering, but knowing where a lot of this belief stems from feels misgendering. It sucks. It sucks so much

It also adds to this idea that it's super easy for us to transition, that ends up leaving us with less information on how to transition. People think we don't need voice training when a lot of us would benefit since going lower in tone can be hard for us (even while on t)

Like, there's not that much information about our transitions that we just get. I only know as much as I do about it because I've been pretty active within the online community for 5 years now (and only just took t literally yesterday)

There's a lot that we have to struggle with when it comes to our transitions, a lot we find out on our own. A lot of times we don't pass despite this idea that's prevalent even amongst us trans people that afabs can near effortlessly pass. & then we don't think we're doing enough

Because it's supposed to be easy for us to pass (even though it's really not, even with a beard) we start to think it's our own individual faults and flaws. Some of us go super fem because fuck it, right? Some of us turn into truscum because of the insecurities & lack of support

(a side note here that I don't support their views and I'll fight them if they harass other trans people, but I do feel sympathetic to them because I'm soft and can understand where they're coming from, even if they'd see me as an uwu tucute to belittle and insult)

From what I can tell this trope overall isn't as actively or obviously deadly to us as the trope in media that basically says trans women are 'tricking' straight men into 'gay' sex. A belief that gets the most vulnerable of them (especially black trans women) killed.

I do think it's still impacting us in really harmful ways that most of us can't even really see, or at least couldn't. One of the biggest threats to us trans men is cis men when we're in male only spaces.

If cis men clock us within male only spaces, we can get beaten and sexually assaulted by them for 'invading' their spaces. That just us being there and them thinking we're pretending to be men emasculates not only them but manhood itself. They get angry, violent.

Another note here is that this is where a lot of cis straight male violence to lesbians can stem from. This idea of a woman invading what they see as a part of manhood and masculinity. What is Only For Them. & if you mess with that idea? They're so insecure they seriously hurt us

So in short, this trope of women getting access to manhood easily hurts us trans men in a lot of ways, and not only contributes but was most likely the origin of this belief that we easily pass to the point it really fucks with us, our support, and others views of our struggles.

The main takeaway from this thread that I want is just for people to think about this media trope - how it has affected (& even warped) your view of transgender men, our lived experiences and struggles - and understand it's a complete misconception. Talk about this more with ppl.