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LONG THREAD OF AWESOMENESS DEAL W IT - Thanks to Mike Pence, I'm about to turn you on with my vast knowledge of history. Those of you who want to wife me after this are my people... so if we look back to times of plague in history, today's Evangelicals are yesterday's Catholics
The sweating sickness of the 15teens wracked Europe. Cardinals harshened Lent in order to keep the larders full; for them. Lent, btw, is a complete Catholic construct you cannot find in the bible, btw. Many believe it's to reflect Jesus' time in the desert, but that's projection.
ANYWAY, by the 15teens, there was enough enlightenment to ask, "Why is my bishop fat & healthy but we're all starving & dying of plague?" Enter Martin Luther...
Luther knew his people were being oppressed so he fought to have the scriptures translated out of Latin to common language. Mainly German, English & French. People were like, "WHOA LENT ISN'T EVEN IN THIS BITCH," thus beginning to wake up to a lot of 'prosperity gospel' we c 2day
People started to be all, "Wait, we're dying & starving even though the larders are full? Dafuq?" The Vatican controlled most monarchs, and knew if the poor were empowered, they would revolt. Hence, the harsh punishments whilst a pandemic went on.
Exterminate them by forcing them into church for sacraments was the credo. However, bc Germany has always been a mess purely motivated by commerce; they didn't have a united country & shut it down bc less tenants = less money for the antiquated fiefdoms they ran.
Luther at this time was like, WHERE MY BROS W A PRINTING PRESS AT? & went hard in the paint on an education mission. Basically, you are a human first & don't need to die to keep a Cardinal fat. The bible says THIS. That's all you really gotta do.
Luther literally used this time with a country in isolation to spread his common sense message that would cause unmitigated change in Europe for the next 150 years, eventually spreading to America w a radicalized version of his views. That's for another day...
TODAY as history repeats itself, we've got evangelicals wanting asses in seats for dollars in coffers. Prosperity Gospel, y'all. Scripture says, Jesus would've flipped a table. I mean, that's what it literally says. But, we've got a lot of people hell bent on this ideology...
... and too many of us who want to be polite about it. I am hoping for another Luther who TELLS THEM the money they give Joel Osteen or Saddleback is literally for Joel & Saddleback. A Christian, as defined by Christ himself, is a champion for the poor & disadvantaged.
The Evengelical larders of the Bible Belt are full while the people die and starve. There's two men at the highest echelon of government encouraging this. History always repeats itself until we learn the lesson. We haven't. Thank you for attending history hour w me.
If this thread has made you want to marry me and move to Norway in 2026 (cuz I got that citizenship, yo) applications are now open. It requires a 2 minute audition video, btw.
