I mean, we all say we write fic for ourselves, and a lot of the time we mean it, but every once in a while the world is like ACTUALLY YEAH, YOU SUPER ARE, HOPE YOU'RE OKAY WITH THAT.

And if you're anything like me, you start second guessing the amount of effort you put into things, because it's *easy* to spend effort for the sake of someone else. It's a lot harder to justify making an effort for yourself.

Which, y'know, makes you *lapse* because it's just for yourself, it doesn't matter if you do it now or in six months, which only further kills off any engagement you might have had.

Like, this isn't a GO COMMENT AND ENGAGE RIGHT NOW call to action, btw. Engagement is not really something you can bully/blackmail/guilttrip/beg people into.

It's more of an observation on how the cycle works for me, considering I don't really have the spoons to do fandom all that socially anymore.