I mean, we all say we write fic for ourselves, and a lot of the time we mean it, but every once in a while the world is like ACTUALLY YEAH, YOU SUPER ARE, HOPE YOU& #39;RE OKAY WITH THAT.

And if you& #39;re anything like me, you start second guessing the amount of effort you put into things, because it& #39;s *easy* to spend effort for the sake of someone else. It& #39;s a lot harder to justify making an effort for yourself.

Which, y& #39;know, makes you *lapse* because it& #39;s just for yourself, it doesn& #39;t matter if you do it now or in six months, which only further kills off any engagement you might have had.

Like, this isn& #39;t a GO COMMENT AND ENGAGE RIGHT NOW call to action, btw. Engagement is not really something you can bully/blackmail/guilttrip/beg people into.

It& #39;s more of an observation on how the cycle works for me, considering I don& #39;t really have the spoons to do fandom all that socially anymore.