So today a did a weird thing: cuz boredom: cuz lockdown. I decided to research out of the literal 100’s of weddings I’ve performed at, which of the couples were still together and which had split. /1

I really just wanted to see if statistically the 50/50 held up and also which ones I made the correct call on (granted I remembered the gig well enough) as to whether they’d last. /2

Just for clarification I couldn’t check every wedding obvi but I keep records of most of my contact info along with files of the music I used. This meant going into multiple folders I haven’t touched in years titled “WedSeason2012” etc /3

And after I found their info it meant Facebook stalking them which yes, is a bit creepy but like: bored, trapped inside, slowly suffocating on encroaching depression. I also decided to keep track of arbitrary aspects of each of the weddings to see if there were other patterns. /4

The other factors I looked at cuz I guess they were interesting to me were, in no particular order: Whether the wedding was indoor or outdoor. Whether the venue was an expensive option (four seasons ball room etc) or a simple church and banquet center sitch. /5

Whether the ceremony was a traditional catholic or if it was anything unique (Native American ceremony, Wiccan ceremony etc, both of which I’d gigged for a few times) Whether they’d chosen ultra traditional (boring imo) music for the ceremony.... /6

.... eg Canon in D, Ave Maria, Jesu Joy of.., or if they’d chosen unique and personal pieces. And just for fun I also kept track of if the reception had an open bar or not. /7

Results: the 50/50 thing holds pretty true especially if the couples were younger (I guess I was keeping track of age too lol oops) it’s more like 40-50% split rate, if I had to give a general range to account for the ones I couldn’t research. /8

People who had non traditional ceremonies, Wiccan etc, were all still together. Highest rate of separation came from Catholic ceremonies, lowest rate came from Protestant ceremonies. /9

Outdoor/indoor didn’t seem to affect anything majorly.There’s a small lead on outdoor weddings lasting longer than indoor but that factor could also be affected by the older/younger issue, where younger were more likely to opt for the cheaper (indoor at a local church) option /10

As far as music goes, weddings with traditional music accounted for more separations (like a good 70/30 percent difference) which is guess made me happy and smug but also I guess I shouldn’t be smug about people’s relationships not working..? /11

I sort of already touched on the expensive/vs inexpensive thing, but in the end there didn’t seem to be much of a difference (some expensive weddings were bought for them by their parents and some were paid for by the older, well off couple) so that was a bust /12

And finally, legit, wedding receptions that had open bars had a higher percentage of still being together (60/40) than weddings that didn’t. Idk what that means. I’m tired and a bit crazy atm. /13

Final thoughts: it’s a strange feeling to have rendered a service and be apart of a such a momentous day in a persons life and then find out later they didn’t work out, especially if you didn’t get paid well. /14

In a weird way it feels like a.... betrayal? Idk, this isn’t about me obvs but like come on y’all, you insisted on everything being perfect and screamed about the quartet starting the Interlude too early and you couldn’t even stick it out past two years? /15

I guess I don’t really care but it’s still a strange feeling. Anyway, this has gone on long enough. I’m a wreck if you couldn’t tell. If I don’t feel the touch of another human soon I may start pulling a Johnny with his typewriter. Peace y’all. /16