I've got a story to tell. It's a long one, so strap in. If you don't like long Twitter stories with lots of photos and videos and whatnot, feel free to mute me or unfollow me for the next hour. But this tales involves the time I brought the Man Who Killed Bigfoot to @drafthouse.

I was reading the @HoustonChron and saw an article about Rick Dyer, a man who claimed to have killed Bigfoot and planned to tour the body around Texas. My interest was immediately piqued because I love cryptozoology, fiascos. I immediately tracked Rick down and emailed him.

Rick and his team agreed to do a show at the Alamo Drafthouse in Katy. I planned out all the logistics, teased the event a bit and then put it on sale. It sold out almost immediately. So we added a second show in Northwest Houston at a second location.

Not long after putting the event on sale, we started to receive a lot of Tweets and emails from a group that I began to call the Illumayeti. These folks were PISSSED off that we were legitimatizing Rick Dyer and his antics. They even tried to rat us out to the FBI and Dean Cain!

The Illumayeti did everything they could to try and get the event shut down. They made Youtube videos trying to expose the hoax. They sent us emails that verged on being bomb threats ("Something bad will happen if you do this event"). They even used Photoshop.

I was starting to get nervous. This event was bigger than I ever thought it was going to be. I had programmed it as a goof but now we had two sold out events on two consecutive nights and not everybody planning to come liked Dyer. I needed the big guns. I needed @Owen_Egerton.

Owen is one of the funniest people I've ever met. Razor sharp wit, incredible improv skills. If I didn't have Owen involved, I wasn't sure how it could possibly be successful. I had only been working for the Alamo for a few years. I would crack under the pressure on stage.

A few days before our event, another Alamo in another city tried to do a similar event with Rick Dyer. Dyer had the corpse's feet and hands covered by a towel and when people asked, he would claim he had sold the exclusive rights to those to the Houston Alamo. He had not. At all.

With Owen on board, I moved full steam ahead. That first night we had almost every single news station in Houston at the theater to cover the event. It was a carnival - with over a hundred people showing up, all happy to be there and to take in the craziness.

Owen took the stage and immediately had the audience pumped up and ready to hunt the truth like Rick Dyer hunted Bigfoot. Here's a video of him doing his introduction at the very beginning of the event.

One of the weirdest things that happened during the event was that it turned into a weird pro-America rally with the audience chanting USA! USA! USA! at several points during the evening. In a weird way, I think this might have been a precursor to Donald Trump becoming President.

The way our event worked was that Owen would come out, hype the audience up and then we would show the first episode of that famous episode of THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN where Steve Austin fights Bigfoot. After the first episode, Owen would do a Q&A with Rick and then episode 2.

Now maybe you're asking yourself: Why THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN? In retrospect, I wish we had played THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK. I had tried to get an advance screening of Bobcat Goldthwait's WILLOW CREEK and the studio quickly agreed. But very quickly they changed their mind.

They claimed the film wasn't ready to be seen (it had already played a couple of film festivals) but I think it was because they didn't want to be involved in this fiasco. Either way, it was fine because I quickly found out a bunch of people were planning to bring their kids.

We had promoted the event as featuring a mystery Bigfoot movie so, all the way up until a week before the event I was scrambling to come up with a title to show. It had to be something relatively family friendly and the TV show episodes, I felt, were kitschy enough to be fun.

What I didn't realize, though, was that Rick Dyer had been teasing his audience that we were actually going to be showing a BBC Documentary that had been made about his bigfoot hunting exploits, a movie that apparently confirmed proof of Dyer's claims.

The film was called SHOOTING BIGFOOT and was from filmmaker Morgan Matthews. I tried to get the movie but Matthews and his team never responded to my requests. Dyer was unable to pull any strings. I still have not seen the film to this day. But maybe I'll rent it tonight.

So the first episode of THE SIX MILLION DOLLAR MAN plays and the audience has a great time. Owen comes up to introduce Rick and immediately you could tell that Dyer was eating up the attention with a spoon. He walks on stage recording the audience's cheers on his giant iPad.

Now this is the point where it's time to learn a bit about Rick Dyer. Dyer had actually released a video earlier in which he claims to have actually recorded footage of Bigfoot from inside his tent. You can track down versions of it on YouTube if you want.

According to Dyer's claims, though, he killed Bigfoot outside of San Antonio. And I'm not even talking about the deep woods or anything. He shot Bigfoot near a Starbucks on the edge of suburbia. He was apparently tipped off about Bigfoot by a camp of homeless people.

But you might be asking yourself. How did a man - even a man as supreme an example of masculine dominance as Rick Dyer - manage to snag him a Bigfoot? Rick claims he lured Bigfoot out into the open by nailing ribs to a tree.

Of course I nailed some (fake) meat to our trees at the theater.

Rib meat nailed to a tree. Makes sense right? But this was actually a symbolic gesture that Rick was making in the pursuit of redemption. You see, a few years earlier Rick had tricked people into believing he had a Bigfoot by stuffing a costume with roadkill and going on CNN.

Seriously.

In this clip, Owen talks to Rick about Dyer's claims that the roadkill body was actually a decoy needed because the Men in Black (yes, really) came and stole an actual dead Bigfoot that Rick had found on the side of the road. Dyer was a master of lying out of his ass. Glorious.

"No matter what I did, I couldn't get no respect from the Bigfoot community. Even though I was doing more for Bigfoot before eight o'clock in the morning than they did all year." - Rick Dyer, American Hero

"And that led me to find redemption and I found it in San Antonio on September 26 in 2012." - Rick Dyer. How has this man not been immortalized in a movie. Somebody get Pete Berg and Mark Wahlberg on the phone STAT!

The audience was allowed to ask questions. A lot of questions were from people playing along with Rick. This guy starts his question by condoning the murder of baby seals, which turns to Owen uncovering the truth about a baby Bigfoot Dyer claimed to have befriended.

Here's the rest of the Baby Bigfoot story.

Dyer claimed to have killed two Bigfoot in San Antonio in 2012, despite bringing the body of a single Bigfoot with him to our theaters. In this clip, Dyer recounts the horrifying encounter with the second Bigfoot, a monster that could apparently detach its jaws like a snake.

In this clip, somebody from the audience asks why Rick Dyer didn't just try and capture Bigfoot than outright kill him. Dyer's answer involved a lot of excuses, most of them involving how expensive tranquilizer guns are.

Owen was amazing the entire event. Watching him interact with Rick Dyer was like watching a cat play with a mouse, if the mouse was the Joe Exotic of the Bigfoot hunting world.

One of the highlights of the evening was when a little girl got up to ask a question - specifically, why mean old Rick Dyer killed the beloved Sasquatch. Dyer's answer, delivered with a completely straight face, is the stuff of legend.

Later Rick Dyer would double down on his claims to be protecting the children of the world from Bigfoot. In this clip, Dyer reveals the dark secret cryptozoology doesn't want you to know about. Bigfoot is actually a child molester. Seriously. Dyer was unstoppable.

Considering this event took place in Katy, Texas, there were, as expected, at least one question about what kind of guns and ammo Rick Dyer used to fell the mighty Bigfoot.

Dyer would actually go as far as challenging the people in the audience to rush out and buy as many guns and ammo as they could get their hands on and immediately search out any remaining Bigfoot specimens out there in the wild and kill them. Think of the children!

When asked to provide proof - be in DNA, forensics or even things like naming the college he had allegedly sold the second Bigfoot corpse to - Dyer would duck and weave like a champ. Nobody was going to corner him in his lies. Nobody.

Rick Dyer wasn't shy about revealing his motivations beyond the tour and beyond charging people money to see the dead body. He had two priorities and one of them was clearly about redemption. He wanted to silence all the haters who gave him shit after the last hoax he pulled.