“Shut up.”

Out of all the things Tsukishima expected from his life, he didn’t expect to pin down Hinata Shouyou on gym mats inside the dark storage room.

Under the palms of his hands, he can feel Hinata’s raging heartbeat and in his eyes, he can see a little bit of fear and curiosity but there’s sincerity in them too.

“I just wanted to know if you’re okay.”

He's irritated just with the sight of him. “I’m not.”

“Does this have something do with Yama—“

“Shut. Up.” He doesn't want to be reminded.

“Is there any way I can make you feel better?”

Tsukki laughed, sardonic. “Like what?”

Hinata tried to shrug. “Be better at blocking?”

“You really are a dumbass.”

Hinata winced. “I’m sorry.”

Tsukki stared at him, wonders when he started having freckles. “You can do one thing.”

“What is it?”

“Kiss me.” He doesn't know what compelled him to say it but he doesn't take it back.

Hinata didn't look fazed, only worried. “Oh…okay.”

Tsukishima stares at him. “Okay? Did you hear me right?”

Hinata gave him a confused look. “I heard you and I said okay.”

Tsukishima is so surprised that his grip on Hinata goes lax and he just stares at him in anticipation.

Tsukki felt Hinata gently place his small hand on his cheek, his other hand gripping Tsukki's shoulder for support.

Slowly.

He raises himself and kisses Tsukishima like he was afraid something might break. The world slowed and his ears started to ring.

The kiss was sweet, nothing like the kiss he shared with Yamaguchi. Hinata had his eyes closed and he didn’t pull away instantly. He kissed so...honestly.

It’s Tsukki that felt weird about it so he puts his hand on Hinata’s chest and pushes him away.

“Let’s forget this.”

The next time it happens it's when he sees Yamaguchi and Yachi kiss by the school entrance after practice.

He bites his lip so hard it splits open.

Hinata tugged on his sleeve. “You're bleeding.”

Tsukki turns, enraged. “Why does it have to be you that sees me like this.”

"I’m so—"

He drags Hinata to a nearby park to hide and he stares him down, feeling both rage and confusion.

Tsukishima grabs his shirt and plants a hard kiss on his lips, ignoring the sharp pain. He feels Hinata’s small hands in his hair, smells apples and tastes mint.

When he pulls away Hinata just gives him a loopy smile. "Feel better?"

He could feel Hinata's breath on his face, could see the flush of red. Why was he doing this? "No."

So they kiss again.

It turns into this weird ritual and it’s become so frequent that he still feels hands in his hair. What irritates him the most is that he likes it.

“You look happy,” Yamaguchi commented.

Tsukki looked at him, bored. “Disgusting."

Yamaguchi rolled his eyes. “What’s changed?”

“A new routine.” He doesn’t say that he kisses Hinata whenever he’s upset with Yamaguchi and Yachi but lately it's been...different though he's not sure why.

“Well, keep it up, whatever it is...it's making you smile.”

“Maybe.”

Everything stays the same until they start kissing in the empty club room and Hinata just suddenly goes limp against him.

Panic floods his senses. “Oi, idiot, are you okay?”

“I forgot to eat today.”

“You forgot to…” He's annoyed but relieved.

“Sorry”

“Shut up.”

Tsukishima pushes him so that he’s seated, turns his back towards him to rummage through his bag.

“I’m sorry.” Hinata sounded almost hurt.

Tsukki rolled his eyes, throwing a pre-packed sandwich towards him. “If you’re really sorry then don’t be such an idiot next time.”

He doesn’t miss the way Hinata’s cheeks bloomed a lovely shade of pink as he examined the sandwich in his hands. “Thank you…Kei.”

Tsukki stared at him, a flurry emotions suddenly pulled to the forefront. He forced himself to look away. “Just eat. We can leave after.”

They began to eat together every other day after that incident. Tsukishima justifies it as ‘hitting two birds with one stone’. Hinata is just happy about it.

"Slow down or you'll choke."

"Aw, you care?"

"I don't want to carry you to the clinic."

"Mmm okay."

"Annoying."

“Tsukki have—“

“Pick a name that you want to call me and stick with it, Shouyou.”

“…Kei.”

“Mn.”

“Do you wanna watch Jurassic World together?”

“I was going to watch with my brother.”

“Oh.”

“Do you want to join?”

“OH okay yes.”

He doesn’t know when he memorized the feel of Hinata’s waist in between his hands, can’t recall the last time he’s kissed him just to forget his best friend.

He doesn’t care to remember because now he kisses Hinata just to kiss him, kisses him because he likes him.

It was such an anti-climactic revelation, there weren't any sparks nor fireworks.

There was just Hinata on his bedroom floor watching Jurassic Park on his laptop like this was their norm since the beginning.

Graduation was just around the corner and Hinata's hair had gotten longer and fluffier. He reaches out and touches it, the other boy responded by giving him a soft smile.

"We're graduating soon."

Hinata's smile drops. "Oh..yeah..."

They never reached this point before, they never talked about what they were or where they were going. It just seemed so...infinite but pretty soon Hinata's going to Brazil and Tsukki would stay and attend university.

He doesn't want it to end.

He doesn't want to lose this.

"Shouyou I--"

"I don't want it to end," Hinata says...or more like shouts. "This isn't just an experience for me. They're not just kisses."

Tsukki pulls him into a hug, tries to hide the fact that he's forgotten how to breathe.

Neither of them wanted it to end.

"How long are you going to be in Brazil?"

"A year...maybe."

"I'll wait for you."

Hinata leans back to look at him. "Are you serious? You're seriously going to wait for me?"

"Why do you sound so surprised?"

"Well, we never talked about this before."

"Are you an idiot?"

"SEE," Hinata pouted. "This is why we need this conversation."

Tsukki sighed. "My brother invites you over for dinner, we talk morning till night, we eat lunch together, we kiss, and we sleep over each other's houses."

"That's also Yamaguchi."

Oh.

"I don't kiss Yamaguchi," Tsukki said, frowning.

Hinata rolled his eyes. "You know what I mean."

He does, in fact, know what Hinata means but he hated talking about feelings. "Listen because I will say this once."

"Okay."

"I'm aware that that's how we started but you're not a replacement and I haven't thought of you as one for the longest time."

Hinata's eyes are glassy.

"I see you as you. I like you because you're you. Alright?"

"Oh my god." Hinata whines, removing Tsukki's glasses before he furiously rubs on his eyes.

"I can still see you and why the hell are you crying?"

"I've sort of...kind of...accepted being your decoy or something."

"This isn't volleyball, idiot."

"I KNOW."

Tsukki's hands cradled the back of Hinata's head before he leaned down to kiss the corners of his eyes. The tears were salty but Hinata smiled and that was enough.

"I like you, Shouyou."

"Do this mean we're boyfriends or something?"

"Is that what you want?"

"Yeah."

"Yeah, that's what we are." He clicked his tongue. "It sounds awfully cheesy though."

"You're not lactose intolerant, Kei."

"Way to kill the mood."

Hinata laughed.

He smiled, rolling his eyes. "Shut up."

And he kisses him hard and honest, with everything he felt.

-fin