crackhead things my friends and i have said throughout lockdown. a thread.

“nAaH i’m actually gonna go dig up the guy’s dead cat... better go pick up mr whiskers from the fuckin cemetery and just go *throwing action* woOoO!”

“uGh I got pins and neegles”

“oh my god, max, show me the morrisey tattoo on your cock!”

“right along the shaft”

“this charming dick”

“love a microbe addiction”

“sometimes i just wanna pick up a 5ft person and throw them at a wall..

“beth, can you just peg me when this is all over?”

“no, no, no... lads... what would you do if a girl put her finger up your butt, like mid blow job?”

“finish”