Read on Twitter
a thread of thoughts because it is 2, almost 3 in the morning:
her voice is so small please keep talking i love the way you say words
her laugh kills me i want hear it forever
she’s so kind what did the world do to deserve her
anyway that’s the end of that because if i think about her anymore i might explode
alright it’s about to get real heavy real quick because i’m gonna start talking about my own introspection
since i’ve been out as trans i’ve always believed that my confidence issues were because of the way i felt trapped and wrong in my own body
since i’ve been out as trans i’ve always believed that my confidence issues were because of the way i felt trapped and wrong in my own body
i don’t think that’s the case
i don’t know why but i just don’t believe in myself. or really like myself all that much.
i don’t know why but i just don’t believe in myself. or really like myself all that much.
i try so hard to cover this up with trying to be a positive, kind, and helpful person but god it’s so hard and i still always feel so empty
i used to think maybe a relationship would help, someone i could pour the entirety of my heart into
haha,, that went well
i tend to just,, cling. i cling and cling and cling and cling because i think so much about my own inadequacies that i convince myself that it’s impossible for no one to notice and i’m scared of being abandoned because who would ever willingly spend time with me?
i try so hard to hold on and my heart just gets too big too fast
a lot of people say i’m easygoing but really i think it’s just a combination of indecisiveness and my need to feel some semblance of control over my life
instead of facing the words “i can’t decide” i just say “it doesn’t matter” when it matters so, so much,, but somehow to me it’s better when the ambiguity becomes my “choice”
life is so god damn scary and i feel like i don’t know anything at all and that i’m just hopeless. i sound like a brat but i’m so tired of the only response to that being “nobody knows”
i should go to sleep. i originally started this thread to really just be something cute but it turned into me ranting and rambling, i’m so sorry.
i love everyone, genuinely. if you read all of this and you’re kind of despairing, just remember that at least you have one person who loves you. a person that will try to make you laugh no matter what, that just wants to see you smile. i think that’s what everyone needs in life.
