A mini thread for people having hard times with online learning (?) also a mini rant..

I am unhappy with this online learning. I realized that after the chinese new year that I am not happy home. There are several factors for it, but I suppose mainly my tolerance level.
A little story, I am studying abroad, and unlike most people, I did not get home sick. Quite frankly I was happy because I have more flexible schedule and I can be more responsible for what I do.

But then stuff happened and I have to go back around November.
It was okay, I thought I can go back soon by January and presume by normal.

I went back for a while for finals, and come back for chinese new year (because my parents bought the tickets ahead of time).

And then corona hits. My school went online. (Again)
I started off positively.. it was for around 2-3 weeks only. I thought it will be over soon. I was wrong. The most devastating moment was when they emailed us it has to be the whole semester.

I knew at that point my mental health will not be able to cope with it.
Online is not that bad, but I was not happy at home. Mainly because I cannot stand the presence of my parents 24/7, and having to do online lecture by phone data.

I have always feel more comfortable staying abroad. Mainly because I have wifi there, but also because my friend.
I had the chance to go back several times, but my mom puts it off. Now I am stuck here for good. At least until the Corona is over.

These past weeks have been hard on me. I had sleeping trouble, constantly anxious, depressed and being chased by deadlines.
I do not have space to breath. Self-love telling me I should do what I want, but school is forcing me to be productive with deadlines.

I am at the point where I am constantly crying, and waking up irritated. I am even very low on motivation.
People keep on telling me that everyone is dealing with this too. So I should learn to deal with it too

I MEAN IF U R A RETIRED HOUSEWIFE DOES THIS ACTUALLY AFFECT YOU MUCH?!
People have different capabilities to deal with this kind of stress. I am generally not a person who stressed out easily, but online learning f me up.

I am in such despair whether trying to save my grade or my mental health.
Actually idk what’s the point of this thread. I just want to pour my feelings.

Also I guess stop telling people that everyone is dealing with it too, because for f sake, it’s not helping at all.
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