Struggling with ADHD for years, still not diagnosed. Only recognized it a yr or two ago after trying for years to do the kirkegaardian way of appearing organized, on top of details, error-minimal work by sheer force.

Systems help. Systems can be leaned on.

Willpower alone does not work, as in YOU WILL FAIL, but willpower is appealing to people like me because it doesn’t lock you into specifics (harder to let yourself down without brightlines) and makes you feel like a hero in your own mind for loading the dishwasher 3 days late

Systems of treats and rewards help. Punishment does not, because people like me self punish in ways that set us further back (take on more responsibility, move an important deadline UP after setbacks instead of back), we dare failure to try again, martingaling our own spirit

ADHD + Fibromyalgia makes certain tasks 10-100x harder. For example, in order to give an informal side biz partner a quick update, I have to mentally prepare for small talk (even when I enjoy it), make an outline of anything I might say, and constantly take notes like a schizo...

..just so I don’t think about something else I have to do or interrupt him like a mannerless fiend.

Even tho I’m a great public speaker, 1 on 1-5 is a problem because you have to look people in the eyes and engage evenly, sincerely.

I can do ~3 (mild disinterest) or a 12 §-{]

But dialing in appropriate basic conversation is hard because my brain is wired to care about what’s INTERESTING to it not what’s IMPORTANT to me, the holistic subject who has to deal with consequences

Not saying the conversation isn’t interesting (THE OPPOSITE) but my brain..

..gets the importance mixed up because it doesn’t have a qualia, some kind of mental metadata to flag my mental energy to FOCUS ON ONLY THIS

Instead, it feels like I’m burning my acetylcholine reserves just to carry on and not fall into myself

So what kind of SYSTEMS do I use?

1. Be religious about note taking, what symbols mean, colors etc. it goes against the no strict systems thing but color and icons can help with qualia so learn bullet journal or similar

2. I don’t use a full GTD but have a regular review

3. Calendars are for appointments with other people, absolute due dates, things that must happen as you interface with others, etc. Stuff you want to do has no business near a calendar. It will just make you cycle out of control as stuff piles up that you overplanned for

4. Use lists. Can be daily or just until you run out of steam. I make 2-3 to do lists a day as a i shift from home to work mode to study mode etc. cross shit off when the item is complete. Be specific so you can’t cross anything off early.

Try to work lists back into reviews

5. Keep a set of reminders that help. Be kind to yourself , Be open with others about concerns, have a close friend who IS NOT AN “ACCOUNTABILITY” partner you will just hate them. Instead, they are your forgiveness and refocus friend. It’s ok, it’s already happened. Triage, focus

6. Have a “spiral upward” list of things you can do that will help situations. It might be something like - make a list of people who are impacted by an event and over communicate. Or maybe it’s drop everything and go for a bike ride to clear your head. Maybe it’s talk to sister

7. Matcha and green tea are probably better long term than coffee. Coffee is procyclical energy for the most part, whereas green tea is counter cyclical, which is what peeps like me need. For us, coffee isn’t for closing, it’s for extreme prep and battle. a tool, not a crutch

8. Diet, sleep, exercise are very important but just saying or knowing that doesn’t help. In fact it makes it so much more unlikely to happen regularly because it’s a chore and boring. SO, for exercise, try to habitualize it. It will take 3x longer than normal brains but if u can

Sleep is also tough because we tend to be inspirational actors rather than 9-5ers who can just switch it off. We tend to obsess about our jobs, because, especially in finance and tech, there are ENDLESS possibilities. This is a problem, because we need to keep going over them.

So, even now, as I’m doing this thread, it’s to get me amped up for the long haul, I’m going to obsess about a certain fintech startup and write a memo for ceo tonight even tho everything is closed tomorrow. If I don’t do it now, it will be this cloud until it cycles out of mind