Thread by @HistoryofaNerd, Im having a rough night so Im gonna do a thread talking [...]

Im having a rough night so Im gonna do a thread talking about something I know no one cares about.

My feelings and thoughts specifically around Kallian.

So its been a roller coaster of a year for all of us but for me it started in december. Kallian had, from what I know, changed meds and was different.

Tired and out of it but I knew deep down she was still the same woman I loved. Nothing changed. Still hasnt.

When things came crashing down for me in January, my year was off to the start I didnt think would ever exist again. A lonely and stressful experiance.

I dont blame Kall for that of course. At the time she really did and DOES have other issues to attend to.

Regardless as the days turned to months I slowly came to terms with the break up. Far as I could tell it wasnt going to be forever. Me and her still cared about each other.

Nothing will ever change that. Even now.

Ill be honest. The top 5 worst pains ive ever felt in my life are as follows

5. Foot surgery number 3 (bad one)
4. Trying to harm myself in HS
3. The Break up
2. Missing Kall
1. The new guy

Nothing will quite compare to that pain but in my heart Im hoping the pain wont last

Ill be honest. Im a weird one. I want Kall to be happy but more than anything I want a future with her even if I have to wait while other priorities set themselves up and (hopefully) fall down.

Its selfish as hell of me but what can I do really?

Everyone tells me to "move on, forget her". I really cant. How could I?

Yeah the pain is there but so is the love. The feelings. The care and compassion.

Everyday to fight the pain of new priorities taking her attention or feeling down I think of good memories we had

The trip me and her took to a random town for a few days. A great experiance.

Our first camping trip! So calming.

The mini adventures in town.

The first night we hung out.

The moment I saw her for the first time two years ago.

All these memories fill me with joy and I smile remembering them with the one person I want to reminse with them over.

Call me dramatic or say im holding onto the wrong things but as far as Im concern, I will always LOVE Kallian Ann Behm and I will wait for her forever.

If she tells me she doesnt love me or this new yahoo gets serious that might change but far as Im concerned I want to spend my life with her and care about her forever.

Its not the relationship I miss is the little moments together that made me realize how much she meant to me

She had a soft way of speaking when she said "babe". Her head would tilt slightly and she'd smile wide as she said it.

When we drove she would tap my hand until I was able to open and hold hers.

The way she looked at me when we did absolutely nothing.

These moments will forever keep that flame of love in my heart alive. Until such a time she decides to snuff it out I will keep that fire lit.

this thread really has no purpose other than to rave about the woman I care about, think of the good times, and just hope for a better tomorrow with her.

This new guy... she could date him for a few months, enjoy him, do whatever she wanta but I just hope... hope she thinks of me. Remembers these memories the same way I do. Maybe realizes we still have a future and we can begin again like nothing changed.

I dont wanns be that guy that "steals" others from relationships but I care about Kallian deeply. More so than anyone could. She means the world to me. She IS my world even now.

Im not giving up the high opinion and deep csre I have for her. Not now and not ever.

Ill always love Kallian Ann Behm.

Forever and Always.

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