4am sadposting

Kinda wish I had someone to cuddle with right now. I really, really miss being intimate.

God I hate myself.

I really don& #39;t deserve it though. Like, what have I done in the last forever to deserve intimacy with someone? Nothing. I spurn every chance I get by being my big dumb fucking self.

I mean, no-one wants this and I get that. If it were me I wouldn& #39;t.

I& #39;m just a lonely, sad boy who is afraid of doing even one thing wrong. I& #39;m afraid of rejection, and the fear has stopped me for years. Paralysed by my neuroses.

I& #39;m afraid now that even if someone does want something to do with me like that I& #39;ll just end up pushing them away accidentally, or even worse, purposefully.

This thread turned into something, for sure.

tl;dr I need a hug.