“taehyung, please put on your shoes.” jimin sounds like he’s ready to kill him.

taehyung wishes he could tell him why he can’t, but he’s still so scared.

“sorry, minnie,” he says instead and puts his sandals on.

he tries to ignore the way his feet ache.

he plasters a fake smile on his face when he’s done, and jimin nods to himself satisfied before continuing down the hall.

taehyung wiggles his toes, spreading them in some vain attempt to convince himself his feet weren’t being suffocated. at least he wasn’t wearing dress shoes.

this was an exchange they had often. taehyung would find some way to slip his shoes off no matter where they were, and jimin would find them randomly discarded somewhere—usually by tripping on them. jimin would scold him; taehyung would put his shoes back on. rinse, repeat.

“taehyung /seriously/—please, we’re in public!”

“what are you doing? the ground’s filthy!”

“tae, it’s freezing outside! you’re going to get sick!”

he’d heard it all a thousand times, and yet the shoes kept coming off, and jimin was increasingly at his wits end with him.

but taehyung couldn’t help it. it was a sensory thing. it felt /awful/. few things overstimulated him more than having to keep his feet stuck in stuffy shoes for hours on end

“they’re suffocating, minnie.”

“they’re /sandals/.”

taehyung had to take them off. he’d have a meltdown if he didn’t. and taehyung couldn’t ever let that happen. nobody knew yet. how was he supposed to explain /that/?

because then there’d be questions. and taehyung didn’t want to have to tell the others what it was he’d been hiding from them since they met, the reason behind all his strange habits and what he’d been struggling to keep out of the public eye for years.

how did you even tell someone you were autistic anyway? taehyung didn’t know how.

but he wants to try. for jimin.

he doesn’t know what to expect, so the silence that fills the room after taehyung tells him is nerve racking.

jimin’s looking at him with an unreadable expression, and as much as taehyung tries to maintain eye contact to gauge his reaction it drains him more by the second.

his gaze inevitably trails to the wall behind him, staring just past jimin over his shoulder instead. he hopes it’s not too noticeable.

“you’re...?” jimin trails, almost needing confirmation again. like taehyung’s words had been too shocking to properly catch the first time.

but taehyung can’t bear to repeat himself again, had taken years of courage to finally say it even once out loud, so he just nods his head slowly, hoping that will be enough.

“and... is this new? or...” jimin probes.

“no—i uh, i-i’ve known,” taehyung mumbles.

“oh.”

more silence. taehyung starts to wish he hadn’t opened his mouth at all.

then. “i don’t really know much about it,” jimin admits. “what things should i know?”

taehyung blinks, not having expected that question.

“um...” he racks his brain trying to think of traits and behaviors, and how to explain them in a way that made sense.

“my brain’s wired differently,” he starts. “so i experience things different from most people.”

his eyes flit to jimin’s just for a second to see if he’s still following. jimin gives him a small reassuring smile, even as taehyung’s eyes return to staring over his shoulder.

jimin was used to that. taehyung had never been the best at eye contact. though there was actually an explanation for it now he supposed.

taehyung keeps going.

“it’s different from person to person, but communication’s hard. i miss a lot of social cues, even obvious ones.”

taehyung idly follows the pattern on the wall with his eyes.

“i don’t like eye contact. i can force it sometimes but other times it just, /hurts/.”

he’s rocking in circles in his seat. they’re small, subtle. the motion helps him think.

jimin stays silent, gives him time to collect his words.

“i have a lot of sensory processing things? i’m a lot more sensitive to touch and sound, and stuff like that. that hurts sometimes too. it just gets too overwhelming and i can’t stand it.”

he presses his feet into the floor. there was more to say—so much more—but now would be the time to finally say /it.

jimin beats him to it.

“is that why you always kick off your shoes?”

it’s not judgmental. jimin’s tone is still soft, curious if anything.

taehyung just slowly nods, voice caught in his throat.

“‘s suffocating,” he manages to say, the same reason he always gave, but with new context now.

jimin sighs. when taehyung peaks over at him his brow is furrowed.

taehyung wonders if it’s disappointed or angry.

it’s neither.

“i’m sorry, tae,” jimin says. “i had no idea.”

it’s sad. taehyung scrambles trying to think of how to react.

“it’s okay... you didn’t know,” he hesitantly reiterates.

jimin shakes his head. “i should have asked—or no, that’s personal information isn’t it? but i still shouldn’t have pushed it as much, right? god—”

“minnie,” taehyung cuts him off. jimin stops and looks at him. he hates the guilty look in his friend’s eyes.

“really, you couldn’t have known,” taehyung tries to reassure him. “i didn’t tell you to guilt trip you. i just didn’t want you to think i was trying to be rude by ignoring you and constantly doing it anyway.”

it takes jimin a moment of searching his friend’s eyes for that sparkle of sincerity he’d come to recognize. he lets his shoulders drop and sighs before looking back up and giving him a small smile.

“okay,” he says. taehyung almost thinks that’ll be the end of it when the other speaks up yet again.

“if there’s ever anything else like that—um, ‘sensory’ stuff—you can tell me. i’ll vouch for you if you need breaks.”

taehyung smiles. he was going to need to tell him about all the other traits he hadn’t explained yet, but jimin seemed to grasp the sensory part of it well enough. it was enough for now. there was always the future.

he takes a deep breath, like a weight had been lifted off his chest. there’s a feeling blossoming in his chest.

happy, he realizes. it feels good to finally have someone that knows.

and jimin takes it in stride, just like every other facet of taehyung he’d come to accept and appreciate over the years. he researches to get a better idea of just what it all is, asks questions here and there, but it never goes beyond that.

he doesn’t get overbearing. he doesn’t infantilize him.

he doesn’t treat him any different. and to taehyung that means the world.

when he inevitably kicks off his shoes while they’re out again jimin merely glances at them, acknowledging that they were now on the floor instead of taehyung’s feet.

jimin’s nods to himself and goes back to scrolling through his phone. and just like that something that used to get him so fired up no longer bothered him.

and similarly, taehyung feels more safe and comfortable doing something that had used to give him such anxiety.

he doesn’t stop himself from pressing his feet into the floor, running them idly along the carpet beneath him.

he had someone that knew now. and he knew jimin would always back him up if he needed it.

it’s a kind of support taehyung never knew he needed.

that’s it for this thread! please let me know what you thought ♡ https://curiouscat.me/TERRAJEONS