Sigh. I hardly like posting personal shit on here bc I have a diary that I write in every now and again but depression has surely started to set in over the past couple of days. It’s always around the same time.

My partner has already left for work by the time I wake up to work from home so I’ve formed a good routine to give me some semblance of normalcy. Wake up, make coffee, check work emails, take a shower, begin my work day w/ calls and whatever.

In the morning, the depression is hard to figure out. Maybe I didn’t get enough sleep or something. But then I feel a slouch over my body and I realize that holy shit, I’m just dragging this bag of meat around a house.

Midday, I’ll go out for a walk. Maybe I need to go to the store for groceries or something. I make my own breakfast, lunch and dinner. I have things I know I have to do to survive but I’m still having feelings of hopelessness.

I take two medications a day for depression and anxiety. The depression meds work. The anxiety meds (I’ve been on for about a month) started to work. But this seems to be the worst time to have generalized anxiety/major depression right now.

I have things I can do to counteract it: I’ll do some yoga or lift weights, do some cardio, read a book, play some video games, watch wrestling, but it’s like...the depression is still right there in the house with me waiting for me to be done with whatever bullshit I’m doing.

This is just shit, man. It sucks all around. My partner has to work late bc her lab is still producing a very important cancer drug around the clock so I’m not gonna have anybody else here for another hour or something. So I’m left to my own devices, which aren’t very effective.

Anyway. This thread sucks. Thanks for reading. Needed to vent.