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are you always angry at yourself for not living up to your own expectations?
and so obsessed with self-improvement that you don’t notice any progress you’ve already made?
constantly focusing on what “flaw” to fix next?
and feel like you’ll never be satisfied?
...yeah, me too.
and so obsessed with self-improvement that you don’t notice any progress you’ve already made?
constantly focusing on what “flaw” to fix next?
and feel like you’ll never be satisfied?
...yeah, me too.
hahahaha it’s almost like people with #ADHD spend our formative years being constantly criticized
and then internalize all that shame
because people made us feel like it was our fault that we were struggling
and then internalize all that shame
because people made us feel like it was our fault that we were struggling
you know when you’re suddenly motivated to make an overambitious to-do list with 18 things on it
but only end up finishing 2 tasks, so you feel like a failure?
even though doing 2 things is better than 0 things?
it’s like that, but with personal habits
https://twitter.com/valacosa/status/1248419658962595840?s=21">https://twitter.com/valacosa/... https://twitter.com/valacosa/status/1248419658962595840">https://twitter.com/valacosa/...
but only end up finishing 2 tasks, so you feel like a failure?
even though doing 2 things is better than 0 things?
it’s like that, but with personal habits
https://twitter.com/valacosa/status/1248419658962595840?s=21">https://twitter.com/valacosa/... https://twitter.com/valacosa/status/1248419658962595840">https://twitter.com/valacosa/...
i’m finally working through all this in therapy
realizing that for as long as i can remember, i’ve deemed myself defective/unacceptable in my natural state
that the only things i see about myself are things i’m doing “wrong”
and blaming myself for not being able to “fix” them
realizing that for as long as i can remember, i’ve deemed myself defective/unacceptable in my natural state
that the only things i see about myself are things i’m doing “wrong”
and blaming myself for not being able to “fix” them
#IfIShouldDie my gravestone will read “crushed under the weight of her own expectations”
the hardest part is when you genuinely DO make improvements to your habits
then one thing disrupts your routine and EVERYTHING FALLS APART
and so begins the cycle:
self-disappointment
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="➡️" title="Rightwards arrow" aria-label="Emoji: Rightwards arrow"> negative self-talk https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="➡️" title="Rightwards arrow" aria-label="Emoji: Rightwards arrow"> self-loathing https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="➡️" title="Rightwards arrow" aria-label="Emoji: Rightwards arrow"> vow to change https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="➡️" title="Rightwards arrow" aria-label="Emoji: Rightwards arrow"> repeat cycle
then one thing disrupts your routine and EVERYTHING FALLS APART
and so begins the cycle:
self-disappointment
it’s taken this long for me to finally realize that i live out every waking moment of the day trying to avoid feeling bad about myself
compensating for my “deficiencies” by attempting to brute-force myself into behavior change
fueled by my deep-seated anxiety about imperfection
compensating for my “deficiencies” by attempting to brute-force myself into behavior change
fueled by my deep-seated anxiety about imperfection
i worry so much about other people judging and rejecting me
that i didn’t stop and realize how much i judge and reject myself
that i didn’t stop and realize how much i judge and reject myself
