i used to have a pretty liberal theology because it was what i was taught, and it was less scary, and it gave me something to hang onto when i was doubtful. but even when orthodox belief felt unattainable for me, i found it so compelling in other people.

i started going to a church with more orthodox preaching because i preferred substance and commitment—even though i disagreed—to the vague platitudes i got elsewhere. i felt like they had something worth staking their lives on.

i hear people say that it's more welcoming to avoid making truth claims, but when i was in doubt i didn't need an easier version of christianity. i needed leaders who (kindly, patiently, and clearly) affirmed the creeds as an anchor that stayed in place while i drifted.

i don't think many people, even people with deep doubts, want a lowest-common-denominator faith or a church that only preaches things that are easy to believe in. i'm not very good at believing in things, personally, and i rely on the faith of others to challenge and reassure me.