Thought I'd share once again with you a few of my choice script notes on a script I may (or may not) have once written...
p.2 - Whilst Leonard's love of gardening is an early indicator of his bucolic character, we feel his use four times of the word "herbaceous" during Jenny's emergency tracheotomy is over-egging the pudding.
p.5 - Do women still say "fiddle-de-dee" as rebuff to possible male suitors? Might be worth cross-checking re Dr Lendal's response to Mark's suggestion they visit the local Go Ape climbing park.
p.8 - we question the use of whale song over Gordon's motorbike accident. Is it a typo? Did you mean Our Song?
p.12 - This scene feels somewhat redundant in the context of the whole "did they or didn't they" stag party stand. Unless the Resurrection of Christ sequence is a dream?
Did you mean "Terry Waite"? As in the previous scene Jim talks about dating a driving instructor called "Teri Waite". So assume a typo?
p.20 - The espionage twist caught all of us by surprise (in a good way!). As much of the story focuses on Mary and Binky's florist venture. But we can't be certain a CIA agent would say, "You're nicked."
But suggest you keep the CIA strand as might attract interest from Netlix.
But suggest you keep the CIA strand as might attract interest from Netlix.
P.25 - If we're honest (whilst surprising and original) we don't find it believable that Colette has "just returned from the Antarctic." Wouldn't the other stylists have noticed her absence?