READING THREAD - THE RISE OF SKYWALKER NOVELIZATION

eh, so, i finally got the tros novelization from my library. i'm not excited to read this, but i'm also not going in wanting to hate it. i feel like nobody cares about the novel anymore so, we'll see how this goes i guess

right off the bat i have to say this title page looks about as chaotic as tros is, so that's on brand.

i have to admit that it's already quite hard for me not to resent luke, leia and every other jedi for using rey as their sacrificial lamb.

she looks up so much to leia, hoping she'll notice the progress shes made with training and i'm like "WHAT FOR?! TO DIE??"

i need to chill.

how many times do they need to repeat that she's trying to "hear the voices of the jedi who came before" she's literally said it three times already in only two pages and using those exact same words...

"nothing's impossible" except some things, like happy endings, are apparently quite impossible.

okay i'm like 5 pages in and salty as fuck already, i need to rein myself in a little. jaysus.

ah, yes. let's fix things with rey instead of reaching out to ben. he's expendable, rey isn't. right?

not me skipping all the blabla about luke and leia training becaus i do not care and also that isn't part of my personal canon

all this talk about dagobah though just reminds me of the fact leia will never know that ben destroyed it when his life-long abuser brought him there as part of his grooming and tried to have him kill his parents. https://twitter.com/WhitethornSolo/status/1204956912892219394?s=19

i wanna k word.

i think after tros i might honestly hate luke more than palpatine. in fact, i adore palpatine in tros, he's chaotic and messy and it's delightful seeing him literally trip and fall over nothing. luke though? i loved him in tlj, and now i'm back to hating him

bb8, you precious child, the sequel trilogy didnt deserve you.

"Rey unhooked luke's reforged lightsaber"

THERE'S A TYPO, YOUR HONOR, THAT'S MEANT TO SAY "HER LIGHTSABER"

rey thrives in the darkness, tell me im fucking wrong.

hot.

dont even get me started on the fact shes back to calling him "kylo ren"

like girl, you've seen that man's sweaty tiddies and held his head while crying, there's no going back from that, hun, i hate to break it to you.

lean into it, own it, accept it. there, i solved it.

i absolutely despise how rey keeps reaching out to luke like hes gonna help OR understand her and her struggles when we literally JUST spent a whole ass movie explaining that no, he doesnt understand and no, he cannot help her.

should you be this fucking scared your supposed "new found family" are gonna leave your ass cuz you aren't who they want you to be?!

i'm already fucking exhausted.

this is so fucking sad because WE KNOW that the tros character would abandon her if they knew about ben.

seeing the potential of their friendship like that and it not being explored at all HURTS. they would've been the bestest friend, rose out of everyone on base, probably would've understood rey the most because she's incredibly kind and has the biggest heart.

he's not wrong.

hot.

still can't fucking believe you had to be on fortnight to know this what the message lmao. what a joke.

this kylo ren is nothing but rage rage and more rage.

as someone who has read both the tfa novelization and the tlj novelization, i dont know who the fuck this man is.

any other day i'd be all over it cuz i love me a villain, but this is ben we're talking about...

you're really gonna tell me he has NO FUCKING REACTION TO THIS?!?!

i want to die.

let's turn the scene in which kylo frees himself from his life-long abuser and saves rey into something ugly and then let's never address how fucking problematic that is later on.

you tell that wrinkly, chaotic bitch who's boss, babe. you tell him!

you know, killing him was really as easy as unplugging his life support.

"oops, looks like uncle palps pulled on something and now he's stopped breathing. oh no..."

"this is good storytelling," they said.

"the people love non-answers in a movie that is meant to conclude a 9-film saga," they exclaimed.

"more nonsense please!" they cheered.

shut up you get a boner when she calls you that, ao3 told me so.

fucked*

you mean "for a generation, my disciples have fucked."

rey is tired. she really is.

guess what? she doesn't get to rest. she doesnt get a moment of pause. because by the end of tros, her work load is much more than back when she was just a part of the resistance, and on top of that, the war against the first order isn't done. FUN!!!

maybe i've gone insane, but i can hear rey's silent cry for help through the pages of this book.

she's so out of character, submissive and trying to please everyone but herself, it's like she's the personification of a forced smile.

"kylo ren was fascinated by power."

again, WHO IS THIS MAN?

if rey was able to watch a new hope, then i feel like maybe someone should've handed tros!kylo a copy of the last jedi novelization. i'm just saying.

if they'd explored this beyond a one-liner it could've been a GREAT way to explain kylo's motivations but ya know, tros continues to say "character development and clear explanations? hm let me think about it...no."

wow i am really hating on this book.

i'm also 17% through and bored.

"Prepare to crush any worlds that defy us"

does he not remember when he attempted to save an enemy world from hux destruction plan in the force awakens? no? okay.

"In the meantime, me and my knights are going hunting for the scavenger. [...] but the ambition that cut into his being was the thought of reigning side by side with her."

fuck the trio. the only one that mattered was rose, finn and bb8

~somehow~
~palpatine~
~has returned~

maz is a better teacher to rey than luke and leia combined. fight me.

babies

go away, boomer, leave leia alone

i—want—to—die.

hux is so obsessed with kylo in this book lmao kylux is getting some more rights

JUST MOTHERFUCKING REY

yea that's some bullshit, i dont believe for a second that it's their first one since then.

the dialogue is so freaking clunky, theres literally no flow to it.

just random sentences terrio thought would sound good but didnt care if they worked together or not.

is she kidding me? just about 3 million times in tlj? one of these being the very instance y'all are discussing aka his failed proposal????

"rey, I want you to join me. we can rule together and bring a new order to the galaxy."

"don't do this ben, please dont go this way."

okay this here is definitely better here, in the book, than in the movie

who the fuck is this man??

I'm coming to the realization that tlj is the romantic novel out of the three, be cause so far, theres literally NOTHING between those two that feels romantic, and if I didnt know they kiss at the end, I'd have no idea that's where it's headed.

that's a major effing issue.

I am not enjoying the writing of this book. At times, it feels super childish with the overuse of exclamation points.

and i'm skimming a LOT of it because there's literally no heart to this story, no love felt through the pages. It's just a flat and lifeless story.

i already need another fucking break.

she in his bedroom your honor, IN HIS BEDROOM

uhm, dafuq—

i just—how did NO ONE at lucasfilm think "maybe that's like a bad idea?"

color me scared and horny.

hot

i wanna die

oh what a relief that is, huh?
to realize the darkness in you is because you're a palpatine and not because you're an actual human being grappling with the duality that's in all of us.

what a fucking relief

i love how we legit dont fucking know how kylo knows about the dyad lmao

it's like that oprah meme except she's saying "YOU DON'T GET AN EXPLANATION! YOU DON'T GET AN EXPLANATION! NOBODY GETS AN EXPLANATION!!!!!" and its met with crickets from the audience.

take his fucking hand, rey.

you'll both stay alive if you do.

...

her—her lovely face??? HER LOVELY FACE????

holy fuuuuuuuck—wayament boy hold on, hold the fuck on, that's some romantic ass shit right there. WHEW

i'm tired. this is so, so, so wrong. I fucking hate how she's lowkey relieved her DNA is the issue.

"kylo ren would always find her, no matter what."

can we all take a moment to acknowledge this is exactly how rey will act for the rest of her life now that her soulmate is dead?

"Time to stop feeling sorry for herself and get back to work."

you know what, rey? i think you deserve a long fucking time to feel sorry for yourself, they took everything from you. everything.

lmaooooooooooooo I HAVE TO LAUGH

how about you just let yourself BE instead of trying to figure what sort of rey the world wants you to be, hm?

and this feeling is gonna go away post tros and she'll live happily ever after with her "new found family" that doesnt understand her at all?? how???

why the fuck is there so much talk about zorii in this book. who gives a fuck

hux's last thought being of rey is certainly A Choice.

ew, luke is so fucking condescending

lol someone should remind rey that she used to feel RELIEF when she was with kylo ren.

but apparently she hasnt seen the last jedi, only a new hope.

i hate this book i hate this book i hate this book i hate this book i hate this book i hate this book i hate this book i hate this book i hate this book i hate this book i hate this book i hate this book i hate this book i hate this book i hate this book i hate this book

the infamous line

but also make it make sense that rey keeps saying no one knows her but also said that finn understands her the most. how could he possibly understand you rey if he doesnt fucking know you???

they're gonna smooch a couple hours after this fight and literally NOTHING thus far in the book is building towards it. tros is a fucking failure.

"No sign of kylo ren. Maybe the wave had washed him away."

HOW THE FUCK IS SHE SO FUCKING CASUAL ABOUT THAT?!?!?!?!?!

her ambiguous and nuanced feelings towards kylo in tlj and her understanding of ben and kylo as not being separate but rather two sides of a whole is totally absent in this book.

kylo and ben do not coexiste here, it's one or the other and she apparently fucking hates kylo now.

i—did she really just fucking say that?

why is leia talking about her father so fucking lovingly in this book i dont fucking understand.

can i throw up now? poe has parents and doesnt fucking need someone else's throw away legacy. the solo legacy is NOT leia's to give and ben doesnt need her to give it to him BECAUSE HE ALREADY HAS IT.

why the fuck must leia split herself in a thousand different pieces?!?!?

rey just fucking killed kylo and shes still more heartbroken over the death of leia than she is over the fact she fucking killed her soulmate.

what the ever loving fuck. her thoughts process is like a robot, theres no emotion to it. nada.

shes wondering what the fuck to do and guess what...her first thought is "what would leia do" and not "what do I want to do, what do I need to do?"

nope, in the third movie of a trilogy, our protagonist is still only able to make decisions based on what others would do. FUN!!!!

"his eyes flew open. he stared at her in confusion, and maybe...longing?"

fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck

i hate to be the one to say it, but rey doesn't love ben in this book and any lines that's somewhat romantic between them comes out Very Forced.

in tlj, rey was 100% in love with this fool, the book spells it out as good as it can.

but this rey doesnt love him, y'all.

i might lose followers over this, whatever, we all know rey loves ben, the REAL rey does. but tros rey doesnt. at least, not in the 68% of this book that i've read.

this right here is the only good part in this whole book so far lmao

not me skipping the entire scene between luke and rey

ben solo is such a devoted husband omg i wanna cryyyyyyy

ow this fucking hurts because hes fucking DEAD LUCASFILM, DEAD! bYE

fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck

I WANNA DIE

i feel like im being constantly run over by a bus

every mention of their bond literally feels like being fucking stabbed wtf

look how COMPLETE they are together. look how perfectly in synch, perfectly at peace.

how fun

"carved out and broken" they call this a fuckinf FAIRYTALE???

SHE IS STILL ASKING HERSELF WHAT LEIA WOULD DO FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

rey described palps throne room as a "cathedral" her and ben really did get married huh. we love to see it

THE HERO NEVER DIES IN A FAIRYTALE

I cannnnnnnnt, I cannnnnnnnnt
he loves her so fucking much, your honor

DONT YOU DARE THINK LIKE THAT

the kiss is Not Good in this book. it has to be said. blink and you'll literally miss it.

this is how fairytales end, said no one ever.

i cant even summon joy for this at this point.

it's broken, everything's fucking broken.

i just cant believe they REALLY think we're gonna buy the "rey's family is finn and poe and shes so, so, so happy with them" thing lmao.

lmao dont even get me started on how fucked up that is. even her new lightsaber must be absolutely pure and completely separate from anything related to her dark side.

i wanna die.

ah, yes, of course. ben the afterthought.
how lovely.

I'M MOTHERFUCKING DONE.

did I skip a lot of it? yes! do i regret it? absolutely fucking not. the book ain't worth shit. sorry not sorry.

I dont have anything against the author, I'm sure shes good and i'm definitely open to trying her other stuff, but this just ain't it.