this is Aurora's Tiger King livetweets
Sasha says PLS MUTE CONVO IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILIES

Things I know about this guy beforehand: this clip from 2015 that was on John Oliver

also that one trailer clip that was linked to me by either @Vote4Pedro2Day_ or @Dohnutttt I can't remember which or what clip

so now with that context, let's do this

"There are more captive tigers in the US today than there are in the wold throughout the world."
wh
wait what
how did that just
happen
under everyone's noses
am I the only one that is highly surprised???

okay but new fashion idea tho: holiday light necklace

YO HOLY SHIT THAT'S A HUGE SNAKE THAT'S RAD

A HUNDRED EIGHTY SEVEN BIG CATS

I mean they all seem like they're having fun, as though their hearts are in a good place. Really passionate about their stuff, their bonds and stuff.
*inhales*
Can't wait to see how this all goes to shit!

holy shit the producer lit himself on fire in th past

wait so why isn't Carole doing something to like.
I mean, I know literally nothing about how this works but
it kinda seems like she's no better than Joe???
what makes her better at taking care of cats than he does
and vice versa
just seems like different cages to me

WHY DOES HE SELL SEX GEL
WHY DOES HE CALL IT THAT JUST CALL IT LUBE LIKE EVERYONE ELSE YA NOODLE

I guess the main issue is one is breeding and making money off the backs of these tigers and the others don't? That'd make sense. Like, especially the breeding part.

You didn't have to spell your name out like that, doctor balgalvalndgdfdg

okay doc you're coming off real confrontationally defensive dial it down

okay sorry HE HAS TWO HUNDRED TWENTY SEVEN TIGERS NOW and can apparently feed 3k a year per tiger
even though doc said minimum 10k a year to feed each tiger

so wait is the doc running a *different* thing or are they just providing wildly conflicting numbers

Joe 'I will literally do a magic show with big animals in front of a school crowd if it makes you not do drugs yeah that's totally a good idea' Exotic

okay that's a little uh
extreme

like I get her point that it encourages more and more people wanting to do it and normalizing it
but
that's a really wide brush you're using on what are mostly bystanders who probably don't know any better

"From the time that they're four weeks old to the time that they're sixteen weeks old you can profit $100,000 on that cub."

jesus christ joe.

Okay yeah, Carole being afraid of Joe's place being The Biggest Animal Ticking Time Bomb Ever is honestly valid.

"It *is* a ticking time bomb if somebody thinks they're gonna walk in here and take my animals away, it's gonna be a small Waco."

HOLY SHIT JOE

UH YEAH UNDERSTANDABLE THAT THAT WOULD BE TAKEN AS A DIRECT THREAT, SHERRIF

JOE AND A GUY MADE A FUCKING *SUICIDE PACT IF SOMETHING WENT WRONG!?!?*
WHAT THE *FUCK* JOE

Ooh no no no no nononono Peta nooooooo

ARMED GUARDS
THE GUY SLEEPS WITH AN AK UNDER HIS MATTRESS
PETA'S INVOLVED
OHHH NONONONONONONO THIS IS GONNA END BAD NOOOO

"In my opinion, Carole Baskin was as bad as Joe. They were both, y'know, taking advantage of exotic animals to make money. So to me, it was just a feud."
OKAY THANK YOU THAT'S EXACTLY WHERE I'M AT

okay calm down joe she's not a terrorist of the animal world, and if she is, you are too, like dude

"Before you bring me down, it is my belief you will stop breathing." HOLY SHIT JOE HOLY WHAT THE
HE SENT SNAKES INTO HER MAILBOX WHAT THE
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK JOE

those poor snakes tho

what are they doing with that mannequin

they blew it up ok

four years later

Local Man Thinks He Is The Boss From Saints Row, Inevitably Eats Shit When Real Life Comes Crashing Down

episode two starting off with a bang, arm's gone

SHE WAS BACK IN A WEEK LATER!?
NO HESITATION
NO BITTERNESS NO ILL FEELINGS

I can't tell if it's naivete, brainwashing, determination, or a mixture of the three but
holy shit

ohhhhh noooo he sold them to so many places
meaning accidents in other areas he could be held partially responsi-

oh my god it's illegal too it's just organized crime holy shit

okay that's a lot of bullshit to unpack here hang on

"If people were concerned about tigers, they should donate them to places like mine where we breed them. Number one, they're an endangered species. Duh. What's the first thing you should do to protect an endangered species? Make more, not eliminate the source."

OKAY SO
THAT'S NOT YOUR JOB THO
THERE ARE ALREADY PLACES WHOSE JOB IT IS TO DO JUST THAT
THAT'S WHAT THE WORLD WILDLIFE FUND IS FOR
THAT'S WHAT PUBLIC ZOOS, AQUARIAMS, NATIONAL PARKS, WILDLIFE REFUGES ARE FOR
NOT YOUR PRIVATE UNREGULATED ORGANIZED CRIME MONEYMAKING SCHEME

don't pretend that you're doing it for a greater good and not to line your own pockets you deceptive little toad

THEY SMUGGLED COCAINE IN SNAKES WHAT THE FUCK

I thought that was like, fictional drama action mob shit

I oughta watch Scarface at some point

HOLY SHIT THIS MARIO GUY IS LIKE AN ACTUAL FICTIONAL VILLAIN WHAT EVEN

-slam cut to Joe Exotic saying how animals don't care as long as you have a good heart- uhhhhhh

this mario guy tires me out

oh yeah the doc guy has like three, four, nine, or I-don't-fucking-care aboumt of wives, no one knows how many he has, I'm just numb
GOD I HATE THIS DOC GUY I HAVE AN UNREASONABLE HATRED FOR THIS GUY I CAN'T PLACE HE JUST TALKS AND I WANNA KNEE HIM IN THE NADS SHUT UP YOU CREEP

"You can't get in to my complex lifestyle, it's not for prime time."
so the guy doesn't live with anyone or something, and he's giving the producer a guided tour not only of presumably the animals, but also the women in his life

THEY CALL HIM BHAGAVAN WHICH MEANS LORD, MASTER OF THE UNIVERSE, CLOSE TO GOD
I HATE THIS MAN SO MUCH I WANT TO SUPLEX HIM

wild how this guy treats the women in his life similar to the animals in his life but also unsurprising

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh ohhhhhhhhh oh my red flags were right on point ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh holy shit ohhhhhhhhhhhh nononononononononononononononononononononononononono

women with doc
-Lived in terrible horse stalls
-"You're a garbage person but if you listen to me I'll make you great"
-get to the top quickly? you had to sleep with him
-wanted "virgins/close-to virgins"
-called sex w/him "shaktipat" bringing them to his "level of enlightenment"

im fucking puking
slam cut to Joe Exotic calling this man 'his mentor'
puking again

shut up doc antle shut up doc antle shut up doc antle shut up doc antle shut up doc antle shut up doc antle shut up doc antle shut up doc antle shut up doc antle shut up doc antle shut up doc antle shut up doc antle shut up doc antle shut up doc antle shut up doc antle

"We worked so hard for so long."
"How much did people get payed?"
"A hundred dollars a week."

Holy shit.

OH AND CAROLE JUST GETS VOLUNTEERS AND INTERNS TO MAKE HER WORK FOR FREE

joe accusing her of doing things as if he's not doing extremely similar makes me want to die

THEY BOTH EVEN MAKE MUSIC LURING PEOPLE IN

THIS MAN WITH THE MOST BEWILDERED HEAD TILT
i need a gif of this guy's 3 degree head tilt reaction because a still image doesn't do it justice

PLEASE SHUT UP DOC ANTLE I WILL SUPLEX YOU
swear to god it's something like seeing red when he starts talking lol

guy was talking about dropping grenades from a rented helicopter on carole's place holy shit holy shit holy shit

"First time I told him, I don't need you to teach me a damn thing about animals, how the fuck you got these women trained?"
chose all of their outfits and made them change their fucking names and regulated what to eat and her life SIGNED ONE UP FOR IMPLANTS SHE DIDN'T AGREE TO

called it
fucking called it the moment he was showing off the women in his life's houses the same way he would show off any other animal

he trains them like they're just more animals

this is the fucking worst i hate this man with every fiber of my being

IT'S BEEN A REAL LONG TIME SINCE A WHIRLPOOL OF FURY LIKE THIS HAS BEEN WHIPPED UP IN ME BUT HOOOO SIS IT'S HERE NOW

doc antle can go sink in quicksand

interviewer: yeah it's not everyday you meet a guy that asks people to work with no break and no day off-
doc antle, interrupting: YOU'RE JUST GONNA SAY YOU HAVE TO JOIN A FUCKING CULT TO BE A TIGER TRAINER THEY'RE FREE TO LEAVE WHENEVER (implied: and have nowhere to go after)

joe doesn't even deny he's got his little cult lol

it's bad that there's a part of me that kind of admires how they take what would have gone to waste for no good reason in walmart and actually use it
doesn't cancel out any of the other abhorrent conditions but uh

"Doc said 'men are pigs and women are sheep'"
i just
i cannot with this diseased mosquito of a man

"fed to a tiger" is an intense way to dispose of a body

of course she's an "everything happens for a reason" type person

This is a lot of setup in this third episode bout Don and Carole, I hope it actually pays off instead of just being 'yea we still don't know tho inconclusive'

I was unaware five hundred dollar bills existed

holy shit Carole that's...
jesus...that's really fucked up that happened to her...

meanwhile somewhere across the country I was being born

okay joe they used to breed and sell cats back in the 90s, but do they still do that now?

oh wow so the husband was the one pushing to breed the whole time

wait
she's not doing all of this out of petty revenge against everyone that reminds her of her shitty husband up to and including cub breeding, is she?

please don't tell me that's where this is going

joe reading her diary on the internet feels. icky.

I can't tell if the lawyer is defending his idea of "free speech" or emphasizing how messed up it is that a threat of death and hiding a spouse's firearms from them is
I literally can't tell

spoiler alert: that's exactly what happened at the end of this episode

wow joe now that's some scummy business tactics

the producer is the only sane one here

wait a sec so this was *actually* gonna be a reality tv show?

what the fuck joe
why with the doll joe
why

OKAY I WROTE THAT BEFORE HE SHOT IT
WHAT THE FUCK JOE

I'm in the middle of episode and I feel just kinda numb, like wha-WHY DID YOU POSE WITH A MUTILATED HORSE PENIS WHWAT

WHOA FIRE

OH MY GOD HE LOST ALL THE FOOTAGE

okay so the producer's kind of a scumbag too

like I was prepared to be with him all like 'yes this is the only reasonable guy in the show' and uh
reasonable =/= good

I'm just tired, like
all the supposed love I thought joe actually maybe had in the first episode is just gone
all the passion is just gone
knowing the shit he did
like the guy drained his mom dry
he's just in there with cats and it doesn't even seem like he cares anymore

He hasn't spoken a single word and I have a bad feeling about this new Jeff Lowe guy

because that's what we need to fix this, another lecherous rich man using cubs to get his way

okay yeah my feelings were right on the money here

oh, the lawyers recommended Joe dissolve his zoo and put it in Jeff's name

it's over lol it's his now he's gonna steal it

SECONDS LATER
BOOM
CALLED IT

WOW EVEN DROPPING THE F-BOMB HOLY SHIT JEFF

no no, not fuck
the *other* f bomb

oh great a new guy who runs strip clubs
i'm just done, everyone in this show is out of their fucking minds and so am I

oh shit it's *actually* gonna go into his presidential run
WAIT
THAT WAS REAL? I JUST ASSUMED THAT WAS A TROLL THING HE WAS
BEING SINCERE

OH FUCK THEY'RE PLAYING THE JOHN OLIVER CLIP I REFERENCED IN THE SECOND TWEET OF THIS THREAD

IT ALL COMES BACK AROUND FULL CIRCLE