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it kind of just hit my today that a lot of the anxiety i'm having now is related to my relationships and being in isolation, is related to my attachment trauma and scarcity fear.
i've been flitting back and forth between the impulse to really disconnect from friends and partners or just panic text everyone being like HOW MUCH DO YOU LOVE ME TELL ME YOU LOVE ME and i'm realizing it's because i'm coming face to face with feeling scarcity in isolation.
and i think it comes from the immediate physical reassurance you have being in the presence of friends and lovers. it's throwing a huge wrench in the coping mechanisms, secure attachment methods, and types of affection i need to feel secure.
anyway i'm being very open and vulnerable about my mental health and trauma on the internet because nothing matters anymore and also because if there's anyone else out there struggling through all of this, i just want you to know ur not alone.
i'll say it before and i'll say it agian:
if you're coping with complex trauma and mental health needs, this entire situation is a huge trigger and it's ok to not be ok right now.
if you're coping with complex trauma and mental health needs, this entire situation is a huge trigger and it's ok to not be ok right now.
but i also think, because we are in this for a while we are gunna have to cultivate some new coping mechanisms, and i don't know what that looks like rn. but it's important to recognize that we have to work harder to feel better generally, and especially rn.
