I’m on all unit conf call. That’s 4000 govt employees. It’s a 45 minute pep rally where they picked random people to talk about their personal circumstances. We are so ridiculously disconnected from the real world. (1/).

First, the leaders of the agency are whining because they love the office and hate working at home. Classic extroverts who love power. Of course they disguise their whining as jokes (2/).

A few challenges noted. 80k+ people now working at home. Then they allow various high level supervisors to talk. They’re so proud of us. Which I suppose is a nice change from “you all suck but I still love you” motivational speeches we usually get. (3/)

Now onto personal anecdotes from various line employees. One is saying how challenging it is to work from home because she has dogs, cats, guinea pigs, and 2 kids. Not sure if I missed some of the various other animals. (4/)

So now woman with a small zoo at her house is telling us the silver lining is that she is getting to watch the tulip tree bloom. (Didn’t know there was such a tree?). She goes into detail about each stage of blooming. It takes me all self control not to stomp on my phone (5/).

Next person says she’s unaffected because she lives in the country and her nearest neighbor isn’t even in visual range. 5 miles to the nearest store. But her family lives in an apt and is so bored they don’t know what to do with themselves. (6/).

They’re lucky we’re all muted cause I would give her some suggestions on how they could occupy their time. My kids know not to tell me they’re bored because they know all to well how I fix that. (6/)

Oops lost count. This goes on for another HALF HOUR. Final guy is up. He in PR which has been one disaster after another. We can barely understand him but it’s clear he’s reading a prepared statement that sounds like one of our press releases after we indict somebody (7/)

The pep rally mercifully ends. In 22 years this is probably the most tone deaf, stupid waste of time I’ve ever had to endure. And now you know how your tax dollars are working. END.