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With everyone suddenly out taking walks, I’ve begun to profile the walker universe.
First, we have The Laguardias.
People who look like they’re walking around an airport terminal to kill time because their flight to Chicago was delayed.
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First, we have The Laguardias.
People who look like they’re walking around an airport terminal to kill time because their flight to Chicago was delayed.
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Then we have the Somberistas.
People walking around with heavy looks that say “Walks must be taken but not enjoyed, for this is our lot now.”
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People walking around with heavy looks that say “Walks must be taken but not enjoyed, for this is our lot now.”
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Up next: The Pace Fighters
Pairs passive-aggressively locked in a tug of war over the walking pace.
The leader tries to hurry the whole thing along by getting out ahead. The trailer tries to slow them down by lagging behind.
Neither is enjoying any of this.
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Pairs passive-aggressively locked in a tug of war over the walking pace.
The leader tries to hurry the whole thing along by getting out ahead. The trailer tries to slow them down by lagging behind.
Neither is enjoying any of this.
3/
Next: The Shoetoppers
A UFO could descend from the sky and disembark an alien flash mob and the Shoetopper would not look up from the sad gravel in front of them.
Onwards they trudge, never to look up from their heavy-footed sadness.
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A UFO could descend from the sky and disembark an alien flash mob and the Shoetopper would not look up from the sad gravel in front of them.
Onwards they trudge, never to look up from their heavy-footed sadness.
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In sharp contrast, we have the Sicilies.
Couples who like they just stepped off a cruise in a quaint Italian town with plans to buy a giant wheel of local cheese.
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Couples who like they just stepped off a cruise in a quaint Italian town with plans to buy a giant wheel of local cheese.
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Then we have the Power Striders.
They may only be walking in a .1 mile circle around their own block but they’re going to attack it like a Kenyan marathoner with a medal to win.
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They may only be walking in a .1 mile circle around their own block but they’re going to attack it like a Kenyan marathoner with a medal to win.
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I will continue my surveillance and update as additional walker segments reveal themselves.
Feel free to add your own.
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Feel free to add your own.
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