Quarantine sitcom pitches every network hearing right now:

ISOLATED TOGETHER - A young couple decides to quarantine together after a one night stand, then immediately realize they have nothing in common.

UNSAFER AT HOME - Two hard-partying college students have to move home when school is suspended. They’re looking forward to be taken care of, but with their aging parents terrified to go outside, it raises the question: who are the real adults in this family?

DISTANT - The wealthy Moorehouse siblings decide to ride out COVID-19 at the family’s remote Hamptons estate, but things are thrown into chaos by the arrival of their black sheep brother Scotty.

SIX FEET APART - A middle-aged comedy writer sits at home, endlessly tweaking his mediocre Twitter thread, while his children run wild.

UNMASKED - A middle-aged comedy writer checks for likes, desperate for anything to distract him from the grim news of the day. Mass deaths and encroaching fascism. His marriage is crumbling.

FLATTENED - My daughter wants me to play with her, but I can’t find the energy. Just go watch Lego Masters and leave daddy alone!

NO CONTACT - Did you see that fucking William Barr interview? Unb— Wait, is there an available time slot for Erewhon home delivery? It’s a sign from God. I wonder if they finally have ground turkey. Fuck, no, slot no longer available?! SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP LEAVE DADDY ALONE!

PAN-DEBBIE - Debbie Smoots is about to learn that dating during the time of social distancing isn’t as easy as it seems.