Thread

One thing at a time

So many restrictions, so many uncertainties, so difficult to plan, so very frustrating. And on top of that, I have no choice.

We know that if we have control over our lives, and control over the decisions we make, we tend to feel better. At the moment, a lot of that control and choice has been taken away from us – and we don’t know when we are going to get it back again.

And for many, that’s very frustrating. But despite all that, there are still thoughts running through our heads about what we should be doing. Maybe you are at home and not working and feel that you should be making better use of your time, or doing something to improve yourself

Maybe you are working from home, and feel that you should be more productive, or taking more exercise, or eating better food, or being more accommodating with your children, or the other people with whom you share your house.

Maybe you are going out to work because it’s essential and you worry about having enough time to do what you need to do; maybe the worry is about time to shop or take exercise on top of everything else; maybe it’s the worry about what people think if they see you out and about

Maybe it's bits and pieces of all of the above. None of that suggests that you are unusual or not coping. It’s a pretty normal reaction to the stresses and strains. It would be quite unusual to sail equitably from one set of circumstances to another without batting an eyelid.

And perhaps others seem to be doing better, to be finding it easier, to be maintaining their equilibrium without much apparent effort. All I would say is, they probably think the same about you. There’s a lot going on inside everyone that we just don’t see.

I offer a very ordinary suggestion. Each of us knows that we can’t do everything. But instead of trying to do everything, why not just commit to doing one thing? One thing in a day, or in a week, depending on what it is.

If you worry about staying in bed too long, what about getting up 10 minutes earlier? (Not 2 hours – although feel free to do that if you want – just 10 minutes.) If the news or social media are overwhelming, what about switching off for 30 minutes, or however long works for you?

If it’s time with your children, don’t try to change the world in an instant – just set aside a time when you’ll be uninterrupted and work within that. If it’s time to have a coffee, open the window and shut your eyes, write it down, and try to stick to it.

These are just examples. You’ll know the one thing that you can do. Just one. And then you can look back and say, I did that, and I’m still doing it. And if you want, you can pick another one.

You don’t need to be swamped by all the things you should do – you only need to do one in order to succeed. And once you have done one, perhaps the right thing is to do it every day. Or perhaps you’ll want to add another thing, one at a time. It’s up to you. You do have a choice

And all these little things will be a tapestry you keep inside yourself, and you can take it out and look at it with your mind’s eye, and say – I did that. Even if it’s just one thing, and you do it every day, each day will have its own colours, its own pattern.

And you will have done it, one thing at a time, one day at a time. You do so much already, and you do it so well, that you can do this too.