Facts. Before you take advice from someone, ask yourself if the results they got is what you want.

Do you really want the marriage the generation of our parents had? If 30 years of pain, sorrow tears and resentment sounds good to you... Go right ahead.

"Yes but they won. They are still married."

Sure. If that is what you want out of marriage, good for you. If that is not what you want though, take the good, discard the bad and constantly check yourself to make sure you are not falling into the default setting they taught you

You can't live exactly like them and expect that somehow it will yield a different result from what they got. You do not have to repeat their mistakes. You don't have to. You have options now. And a community of women that will support you.

The Yoruba say, if a parent suffers something, and the child too suffers it, it will be regarded as a family curse. You shouldn't be out here trying to suffer as much as your parents did. That is living under a curse.

Nobody sees the behavioral patterns that led their mentor or parent into poverty and decides they'd like to emulate those exact patterns and somehow elevate the suffering associated to it as noble. So why you would do the same with other forms of suffering is beyond me