I need to tak about this time I farted in my sleep SO loud the first time I ever slept with this guy I was fucking with.

It’s weighing on me

So basically I had been talking to this guy and I was tryna be skinny for him before I met him the first time so I was BARELY eating besides vegetables and my vegetable of choice was BRUSSEL SPROUTS. Nobody told me they give you gas.

So bitch I go out there and has the worst gas like I was dead ass going to explode. So I would sneak fart when I could. ANYWAYS. In the night I’m dead sleep and had been holding in farts for dear life. I guess I let it go and it DEAD ASS WOKE ME UP. AND HIM.

I knew he was up but I was trying not to move AT ALL just praying he wasn’t. BITCH the next day he was like “you farted so loud last night” and I was like “NO I DID NOT haha” SHIT WAS HORRIBLE.

That was it. I had to tell the story.

Rumor has it I never farted again.