I’m straight up fucking miserable. I am ASTONISHED I haven’t even tried to kill myself yet. The only things keeping me alive half the time are shea and my pets and this quarantine has my mental state so fucked up that I’m not even sure what are real rational thoughts in my head

And what’s mania talking and telling me crazy shit. I feel like a fucking crazy person. I feel so ducking detached from reality sometimes. Neurotypical people are acting like quarantine is the end of the world while my brain is literally melting into goo inside my head because

Isolation and the destruction of my routine are causing my brain to feel fractured and messy, and the stress of it all is causing my chronic illness to flare up into INTENSE pain and fatigue. Check on your fucking mentally ill friends. We’re not fucking okay in all of this.

I’m probably gonna delete this whole thread later but FUCK I needed to get this out now while it’s happening in my head and not just bottle it up.