I have to say, there's a sense of calm that's washed over me about the Bernie news. It is now out of my hands. Liberals can whine and moan about "the Supreme Court" or "Trump's threat to democracy" or "Putin" if they want, and I will let them finish and serenely answer "whocare."

They will spend 10 tweets in a row breaking down the life expectancy of RBG and the odds of Trump choosing her replacement, and at the end of it I will tell them that their time would've been better spent telling someone who gives a shit. And there's a lesson in that for them.

They will say "what about this?" or "what about that?" and I will say, "that sounds like it sucks, you should speak to someone persuadable." I will then give them a list of swing states and red states and return to posting mockeries of the goofy-ass creep, Joe Biden.

They will say "stop posting mockeries of Joe Biden, it hurts the enthusiasm for his candidacy." And I will respond by tapping again on the list of swing and red states, and tell them they better start countering the impact that I'm making with my wonderful posts.

Because now the work has shifted. The candidacy of one Joe Biden is not my problem, never was. It's on the BidenHeads, whoever they are, who made it clear we won't be needed. I wish them well, and can now get back to my passion: Working on shit that matters and mocking Democrats.

They'll say, "Rick, you're a journalist. You can't be mocking a senile old man, calling him 'a creep' and 'perhaps dead.'" And I will raise a finger to their lips and say "shhh," and pull back my hand and hold it open and whisper, "talk to this because the face ain't listening."

Woke up, feel great. A weight lifted off my shoulders. Free for the first time in months. Will work on a few articles, make a grocery run for a neighbor in need, have a lovely dinner, watch a flick. What’s that, you say? An election’s coming up? Most important in our lifetime?