i'm not gonna pretend kalvin hasn't done irrepairable harm to both individual people and the community as a whole, but he is literally just an insecure little dweeb who got platformed by other insecure little dweebs. i used to be one too. here's how i stopped being one

1) stop spending so much time on trans twitter. It is amazing to find a community of like minded people going through the same unique experience as you. but too much time on here will rot your brain. it amplifies your dysphoria x10 to be constantly reminded of what you lack

2) every time you nitpick another trans guy's transition, ask yourself why you feel the need to do that. 99% of the time you are insecure about something you haven't unpacked yet. if you are aware you are insecure of it, don't make someone else insecure about it too...

...it's fine to vent to your friends if they are willing to hear it, but stop publicly shaming other trans guys just to make yourself feel better. if some guy wants to post his bussy online and that makes him happy then so be it. stop using second hand dysphoria as a way...

...to put other people down. Unpack if it's actually dysphoria or shame from not living up to what you think a male should be. A lot of my "dysphoria" was almost entirely controlled by insecurity. Once I let go of becoming this image of a perfect cis man, I felt better

3) stop making excuses for shitty behavior just because you support someone. Theres a difference between holding transmed beliefs and bullying some random teenager to the point where they attempt. The fact that people still follow him after that ordeal will never make sense to me

4) accept that your beliefs will change a lot throughout your transition. you're going through a lot of new emotions and gaining an entirely new perspective on life. forgive yourself for your mistakes and realize you are always growing

I want to clarify I am not judging any of you for being at any point in your transition, emotionally or physically. This is the journey I went through and this thread is made for people who were at the point I was when I decided to stop caring about what people thought of me