Let me tell you about a thing.

Randolph, NY. The late 19th century.

Eugene & Eva move to town -- he's the town's undertaker. People like them.

They hire a maid, Jennie.

By 1901, Eugene & Jennie seem to get along too well for the town’s liking. Jennie leaves:

April 1902. Eugene also leaves for a bit, and returns having divorced Eva (she read about it in the papers) and having married Jennie ON THE SAME DAY.

It was a WHOLE THING. SOCIETY was SHAKEN.

(In the subsequent trial, it was discovered that the divorce and marriage actually took place a few days apart. But let's not ruin a good headline with the benefit of hindsight.)

How disturbed was the town?

- The more reasonable people blew some whistles, rang some bells and FIRED SOME GUNS. Again, these were the more reasonable people.
- Others went to the town next door and secured A CANNON
- Not satisfied, others started BOILING A POT OF TAR

People calmed down after the police came, and, for some reason, after insurance companies got involved.

The divorce trial was pretty much what you'd expect: the Eugene's father accused Eva of being an opium addict, the judge overturned the previous divorce, and the newspaper was wondering what that meant for Jennie.

In conclusion, this could have all been avoided with proper physical distancing.