So people have been asking lately how I'm doing and because I don't wanna make it a thing I just say I'm fine or that I'm "hanging in there", but I'm not. I'm not okay.

Because none of this is okay.

AND I'M NOT OKAY

With everything that's going on, it's not just that my anxiety and depression have been taken up a notch or that my chronic health conditions are flaring up because they are. Mainly I'm not okay because I'm angry. So goddamn angry and I just get to stew about it.

I'm livid. I'm absolutely furious because so much of this was preventable. I'm angry about the sheer negligence of the Trump administration who not only received intel of the virus in November, but then dismissed it, lied about it and even called it a "hoax" to mislead people.

I'm angry that our doctors and nurses can't get the supplies and protective equipment they need. That they're wearing homemade masks and garbage bags on the frontlines of this crisis. That we don't have enough ventilators so tough choices have to be made about who's life to save.

I'm angry that we don't have enough test kits. Other countries are testing everyone so the people who had it can go back to work or help people in need, but we can't even test everyone who's sick because Trump has to be in bed with every company who profits from this crisis.

I'm angry because Dipshit Donnie is giving daily COVID briefings that amount more to propaganda than anything else saying things like "I have a hunch" when the country deserves facts. And I'm disgusted that he applauds the job he's doing when a thousand people die each day.

I'm angry because the president of the United States of America is divvying out ventilators and supplies based on which state governors are being nice to him and pointing fingers and blaming everyone and anyone else and acting like a goddamn child when we need a fucking leader.

I'm angry because people have lost jobs, their livelihood, their home, their business, THEIR LIVES. People are sick, people are hungry, elderly are without help. People are trapped with their abusers, pets are without owners and parents are overwhelmed.

I'm angry because very little of this so called relief package will go to the people that need it most. Small businesses will have to fight tooth and nail to get any help while big corporations will get bailed out with very little oversight and it's such bullshit.

I'm angry. Because so much of this was preventable! He put profits before lives and he's continuing to do it every single day while we either sit in quarantine or risk our lives out there hoping we don't get sick because of it! And it makes me so fucking angry. It's criminal!

So how am I doing? I'm angry! I'm angry af, obviously!

Yeah, I am hanging in there because I have to and I'll continue to.

And I hope you're hanging in there too. I hope you're staying safe and have what you need.

I hope you're okay.

But really...

I AM NOT OKAY