Please don't become a monster to others all in the name of "doing good or being there for them." Sometimes create space for people to blossom progressively.

Let your help not choke people or make them become stagnant because of your unchecked empathy mixed with monstrosity.

We talk about human emotions and tend to classify some as negative or positive, good or bad. Some of the poupluar 'positive' emotions can have their dark sides if you do not step back to reflect, analyze and make adjustments.

E.g A parent can genuinely love a child but it can become problematic if you don't allow the child to learn and thrive on their own - helicopter parenting.

Same thing we see in relationships where a partner can become possessive and manipulative.

Always check your intentions.

Another example is in the family unit. There are family members that will offer help to you but will never want you to rise above them. Many prefer to see you coming to them for help as long as you don't become more knowledgeable & successful than them.

Check your intentions.

Another example is our politicians and even some lecturers.

Politicians have cognitive empathy prior to their election - they will say sweet things as if they understand the struggles of the masses. But when they get into corridors of power, they become monsters.

As for some lecturers or professors in academia, they have the same behaviour as the politicians. They will offer you admission into their research labs on the basis of 'I am offering thi student educational opportunity." Students get in there and these lecturers become monsters.

Empathy is not enough if it is not genuine and positively transformative.

Empathy can be dark if it becomes manipulative, toxic and has an underlying intent to control.

There is a difference between thoughts of empathy and you feeling empathy.

Last example is for those of you in the nonprofit - social, educational and community development sector. If I speak about the things people do, church agbasa this evening.

Ask yourself why you prefer using poor people for clout and also astroturfing to get funding & accolades.

May you not sacrifice your humanity on the altar of unchecked and overlooked empathy. Reflect & always ask yourself these questions:

Why am I doing this?
Will this help or harm the recipient of my actions?
Am I really being genuine?
Is this empathy for clout or positive change?