Brother calls me the f slur 4 times directly in front of my face and my parents scold ME for calling him out :)

The f slur didnt even bother me. It was the fact that my parents just dont care if he uses it. All he gets is my parents yelling his name once and thats it. If he does it again they just... give up trying to tell him to stop. Just like with everything else he does.

Meanwhile i tell him to fuck off and call him an asshole and my parents pile onto me and call me a "worthless, lazy piece of shit" because i cant work right now and then guilt me that im not in school and compare me to their friends kids who are my age.

I wonder fucking why i have such an inferiority complex in everything i am and do.

I'm so jealous of people with parents that dont give them intense emotional trauma. Im nealous of people who have positive relationships with /anyone/ in their immediate family.

My mom just called me "selfish" because i want to "focus on finding myself and FUCK everyone else" and???

What????

Guess if im not thinking of what others think of me 24/7 or how other people feel about who i am then i should die!!

I guess im an awful person if i am sick of feeling like im trapped in my own body and finally want to do something about it! I guess im a piece of shit for focusing on myself!