My tinder career has been interesting.

My favourite is the Forex trader who was sweet the whole date and insisted on taking me home. I didn’t know what car he drove.

Gent pressed his key to unlock his car and Bentley lit up the entire parking lot https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😂" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Rolling on the floor laughing" aria-label="Emoji: Rolling on the floor laughing">

And then the drug dealer who kept going on About how no one can ever fuck with me now coz he’ll sort it if I tell him.

We had coffee and when he had to pay, he took out a stack of R200 notes thicker than the Oxford dictionary to pay a R90 bill.

Actually, this isn’t even about tinder. I attract characters.

There’s the gent who dropped me off in a Z4, picked me up in an M1, and then dropped me off on an M3. All in a space of 6 hours https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Rolling on the floor laughing" aria-label="Emoji: Rolling on the floor laughing">

And then the gent who drove a cayenne sport who asked me to move into his home after meeting me for the first time. Told me I wouldn’t have to worry about anything financially as long I live with him and not fall pregnant https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Rolling on the floor laughing" aria-label="Emoji: Rolling on the floor laughing">

And then there’s the former Orlando pirates player whom I bumped into at a flower shop.

I actually would have pursued something with that gent but we literally could not understand each other. His English is inaudible and we speak completely different vernac. It was tough https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤣" title="Rolling on the floor laughing" aria-label="Emoji: Rolling on the floor laughing">