My tinder career has been interesting.

My favourite is the Forex trader who was sweet the whole date and insisted on taking me home. I didn’t know what car he drove.

Gent pressed his key to unlock his car and Bentley lit up the entire parking lot

And then the drug dealer who kept going on About how no one can ever fuck with me now coz he’ll sort it if I tell him.

We had coffee and when he had to pay, he took out a stack of R200 notes thicker than the Oxford dictionary to pay a R90 bill.

Actually, this isn’t even about tinder. I attract characters.

There’s the gent who dropped me off in a Z4, picked me up in an M1, and then dropped me off on an M3. All in a space of 6 hours

And then the gent who drove a cayenne sport who asked me to move into his home after meeting me for the first time. Told me I wouldn’t have to worry about anything financially as long I live with him and not fall pregnant

And then there’s the former Orlando pirates player whom I bumped into at a flower shop.

I actually would have pursued something with that gent but we literally could not understand each other. His English is inaudible and we speak completely different vernac. It was tough