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Dear fellow procrastinators,
Your avoidance of certain tasks might be more perfectionism-related than you realize. This was the case for me.
Your avoidance of certain tasks might be more perfectionism-related than you realize. This was the case for me.
Or more like selective perfectionism. Some tasks I never avoid. Other tasks I avoid like hell.
For example, I pay bills and schedule meetings without delay. These tasks aren& #39;t attached to my self-value. They are just tasks to me. No procrastination in sight.
On the other hand, I procrastinate heavily on writing-related tasks. Pretty much anything with a word count over 100. Somehow my self-value is tied to my words- and what others think of them.
To find out why, I went to therapy and read books about procrastination. I thought being an enneagram 9w1 might be to blame, but it went deeper.
After several years of digging, I& #39;ve concluded that my (selective) procrastination is actually the manifestation of (selective) perfectionism around tasks attached to my self-value i.e. writing.
Going back to early childhood, I went through phases of approaching certain language-related tasks as all-or-nothing: first with reading aloud, then handwriting, then writing in complete sentences, then public speaking. Anything less than an A was an F in my mind.
To compensate for this selective intensity, I became super easygoing around other tasks. Not picky about food, clothes, art, or how I spent my time. I went with the flow. And still do.
Looking back from age 39, I can trace the roots of my perfectionism manifesting as procrastination. When quality is paramount, it& #39;s preferable to produce nothing over something imperfect.
I now see that I approached procrastination as an imperfection to be rid of, rather than a clue that I care a lot about quality (in certain situations).
But back to the writing thing. In some ways, it& #39;s a plus that perfectionism doesn& #39;t dominate my whole life, just certain pockets of it. Things could be much worse.
That said, I don& #39;t like the consequences of perfectionism-induced procrastination on my writing process or product. The quality usually turns out fine (if I even write anything), but at what cost? There must be a better way.
I would love if writing could become just another task for me, like paying bills and scheduling meetings. I& #39;m not sure if this is possible, though.
What I do know is that I desire to untangle my writing from my self-value as much as possible. Emails, newsletters and book chapters don& #39;t have to be valuations of who I am. What if they were just emails, newsletters and book chapters?
I am not my writing, or lack thereof. But I do have to write. Something. #amwriting
"Love your neighbor as yourself" implies that loving yourself is a good thing. Crazy that we even have to go there to give ourselves permission to love a human being.
With all the effort Christians expend trying to live in ways that reflect God& #39;s character, we have a long way to go in reflecting God& #39;s love toward ourselves, as we are.
A book that helped me in this area: The Gifts of Imperfection by @BreneBrown [end thread]
