I have a lot of complicated feelings about what happened in the primary. I feel frustrated and deeply sad. I no longer feel like I belong to any kind of coalition. Both the left and the center have alienated me by devaluing marginalized communities.

I am upset that I will have to vote for and campaign for a candidate who I do not believe in. Biden's policy positions are disappointingly unambitious. He does not show empathy to the people who are struggling under the status quo and will do little to help them.

The best argument I have in his favor is that he would do less harm than Trump. His policies would probably not help very many people, but voting him in would at least put a stopper on most of Trump's destruction. It's....not the most inspirational message, but it matters.

At the same time, I had major reservations about Bernie Sanders and his movement. While I consider myself a progressive and align with progressive policy and ideas, there is a certain contingent of the left that really scares me.

Some subset of the left thinks it would be OK if disabled or other vulnerable people die for the sake of "the revolution."

People who say things like "our healthcare system is so broken that nothing of value would be lost by burning it all down and starting over"

show their complete disregard for people whose lives depend on continuous, uninterrupted access to healthcare. They are saying that it is OK if we die for the "greater good."

To be clear, I agree our healthcare system is fucked and want a better one too! But can we maybe achieve it in a way that won't kill my community??

Another similar garbage sentiment I've heard is that it's bad that we have the Affordable Care Act, because it reduced the "urgency" for a more sweeping reform like Medicare for All.

Again, you are framing the lives of the people saved by the ACA like an acceptable sacrifice.

The thing that drew me into progressivism in the first place was a desire to enact policy that leaves nobody behind, with *extra* careful attention applied to vulnerable communities and their specific needs. The movement does not feel like it's trending in that direction now.

And don't think I'm defending the slow incrementalism that Biden represents! It also kills people by failing to deliver life-saving reforms fast enough!

But it's not as though that was the only other choice we had in this primary.

I'm so sad that we didn't choose one of the many candidates who lay between "burn it all down and fuck the collateral" and "nothing will fundamentally change"

Julián Castro and Elizabeth Warren had progressive platforms that didn't make me feel left behind.

Kamala Harris and Beto O'Rourke could appeal to more moderate voters while still touting ambitious plans.

It's just sad. We didn't have to end up here.

This is only the goddamn tip of the iceberg of shit I'm dismayed by right now.

I'm sad as fuck that I'm going to have to vote for a probable rapist! Let's talk about that!

My default position is "believe women*" and that hasn't changed! And yet I'm going to vote for Biden in November, and some of you are going to call me a ghoul for it!

* accusers, really. I also believe NB people and men who say they've been raped!

I mean I fucking hate that we're in this position, but our 2 choices are men who have both been accused of rape, only one of which has a policy platform that will kill my friends. So I will vote for a rapist if it will keep my friends alive. Sorry if that makes me a ghoul!!!

Let's talk about race!!

I know I will never be an expert on race, so I try to minimize the amount of racist harm I put into the world by just listening to black and brown people.

There was a period in this primary where I actually warmed on Biden a little bit.

It was after SC when it started to become clear that the black vote was going largely to Biden.

I don't know, I just thought that was worth paying attention to! After black voters saved us from Roy Moore we all said "vote like black women" and then

the black vote went to Biden and people started calling them "low info voters." It was just fucking gross. And don't get me started on people shit-talking John Lewis for endorsing Biden.

So yeah. While Joe Biden's platform does not represent me and my interests, at all,

I feel virtually zero kinship with much of "the left" these days. I'm grieving what could have been. I don't feel hopeful that Biden will win, nor do I feel that the left will get its shit together and build a coalition that can win and that I can fully believe in.

The whole thing just fucking sucks. It just fucking sucks.