With the help of some friends I've been working on the most detailed, accurate and conclusive account of each series of #DoctorWho since 2005.

I'm honoured to present to you this incredibly comprehensive thread:

Each series of Doctor Who as food.

SERIES ONE (2005) / BUTTERED TOAST

Effortless perfection.
Doesn’t distract with big-budget condiments, just does it's job and does it well.
People try to skip breakfast in a rush, but the rewards of investing in the most important meal of the day cannot be understated.

SERIES TWO (2006) / VEGAN CHEESE

A decent crack, but it’s just not cheese is it?
It’s an ethical choice, nice enough as long as you never compare it to the real thing.
But, have it on a base of S1’s buttered toast and you’ve got a pretty solid meal nonetheless.

SERIES THREE (2007) / CHILLED GRAPES

Just so bloody refreshing.
Clean, crisp, juicy. Mmm.
Nature’s candy, guilt-free indulgence.
Ages like fine wine.

SERIES FOUR (2008) / POTATOES

God food.
Queen of versatility. Fried, roasted, mashed – can handle any tone or genre.
Everybody loves them. Everybody wants seconds and no matter how much you make there’s never enough.

SPECIALS (2009) / CINEMA HOT DOG

Sounds like a good idea, especially given you’ve hardly eaten today.
It’s stale, crusty, tasteless. Is there even meat in this?
Completely unsatisfying and overpriced.
And yet, you’d still buy it again - Because you hate yourself.

SERIES 5 (2010) / NANDOS

What a treat.
No matter how many times you revisit it, you never lose the magic of a cheeky nandos.
The flavours, the colours, the confidence, the Peri-Peri Pandorica.
The ultimate good shout.
Universally loved.

SERIES 6 (2011) / APPLES

You never have a craving for them, until you find yourself actually eating one.
You're surprised at how good it is, why don't you eat apples more?
Because the lasting impression isn't of the juicy apple, it's the quick-to-rot core called TWoRS.

SERIES 7 (2012/3) / DOMINOS PIZZA

First few bites are heaven.
Pace yourself, maybe a short break after a few slices.
As it gets colder you start to feel sick, the magic fades.
You’re left with cold crusts, empty boxes and an odd mix of satisfaction and regret.

SERIES 8 (2014) / TOFU

Stop sleeping on Tofu.
Too many people write it off without actually taking the time to eat it properly.
Let the character work marinate overnight.
Yes it's no one's first choice, but popularity & quality don’t always equate.

SERIES 9 (2015) / OYSTERS

Some people don’t like oysters. They are wrong.
There’s a refined elegance & status to eating and enjoying oysters.
Oysters are bisexual.
Most are filled with pearls. Some are filled with Sand. Focus on the pearls. Never mention the sand.

SERIES 10 (2017) / GLUTEN FREE PASTA

It's good in the way that it's pasta.
It’s lighter, you don’t get bloated given there's no arc.
But what's the point to pasta if there's no whiplash?
I'm committing to carbs, let me feel something other than an overhyped echo.

SERIES 11 (2018) / GREEN TEA

There are strong and valid arguments to be made for it’s detoxing qualities.
It is good for you, cleans up your insides and offers renewal
But you can’t avoid the fact that it is basically just cloudy water, especially next to.....

SERIES 12 (2020) / CADBURY MARVELLOUS CREATIONS

This is chocolate on steroids. There’s a surprise in every bite. Sensory overload.
Is this even allowed? It’s so naughty. You love it.
You can still feel the thrilling buzz of those sweet pop rocks on your lips. Damn.