All this time I'm spending with myself has had me reminiscing on all the fucked up relationships I've been in.

Thought I'd give a shot at articulating one of them into a Short Novel.

I hope you enjoy reading.

THREAD!!!

I had been staying a few months in Pretoria at the time, had just given birth and was working rediculous hours; so my mom convinced me to move my son home with her eKZN.

This afforded me newly found freedom, plus I had just bought a car so I knew sezingawa manje empilweni yami.

To my pleasant surprise, my best friend in Durban (let's call her Tee) phones and asks ukungivala for the coming weekend because she's bored and she misses me; besides, ufisa ukubona this guy I can't stop talking about.

Ngangihlanya! about the guy at the time, ungavaleki umlomo.

I hadn't been out with friends in a while (if you've been pregnant, you know akuphumeki endlini cz all you want to do is sleep); AND, I knew umngani wami very well, ubumnandi bubuzwa kuye, so I agreed.

End week Tee took the first bus to Pretoria, ngamuhlangabeza at the station.

That Friday, I introduced Tee to the man I couldn't breath without thinking about (let's call him KK). Boo was not only MONIED but he enjoyed spending even more, so I knew ukuthi standard, i-weekend yonke was my baby's treat.

From the night that Tee landed we never slept a wink!

Lemme rewind kancane on how I met KK;

So I was walking to the parking lot ngiphuma emsebenzini one ntambama, which was across Koedoespoort Road, & while crossing over, this guy nearly knocked me with his car (on purpose obviously).

He then jumped out wazozazisa with an apology.

Fam, KK was that guy um'buka nje! Ukushelela kolimi as he spoke, the way he never broke eye contact, his perfume *encibilika, I won't even mention that gorgeous smile. I knew right there & then ukuthi umama ngeke aphunyuke la!

He didn't even ask for my number he just gave me his

However, the moment he realised I drive a Polo Vivo, he instantly changed ebusweni kwangathi uyadumala. All he said to me was "please change your car".
Honestly, I should have taken that as the first sign.

Angicucuzanga kodwa, I called him while driving home that very same day.

Weeks pass, and I've never been so spoilt in my life! I'm talking weekend aways, gf allowance eyayingena almost every two days, shopping sprees, you name it. Ngazifunda ngaye zonke lezozinto.

On the second week he gave me a brand new car with no license plate, saying he's more..

..comfortable with me driving it, instead of my own. But then he adds "don't worry the car is clean". Ok , this should have been my next sign. But I ignored them all ngoba tjerr kumnandi ukuba umem!

Lapho we weren't even sexual, I thought fokmaan this guy loves me

Kanti angazi.

Now at this stage uKK usengijwayezile le-lifestyle, angisasabi ngisho nokucela izinto.

One thing I will always appreciate about KK is, he never made me feel like anything I felt I wanted was useless; ubevele ethi "just tell me how much you need".

He was very domineering though.

Anything that questioned his authority as a man instantly changed him into an animal. I had to learn submission very early in the relationship. It did however come easy, cz imali iyamakha umuntu abe yinto oyifunayo. Even if he was wrong I'd be the one to apologise & beg, cabanga.

Still, we were not having sex, and whenever I would bring it up in conversation he'd say, I'm different and he's serious about us, uzongihlephula when I want him to.

It goes without saying I got comfortable in a split blink!

°
°
Fast forward to the day I found out what KK does;

Two days before Tee landed, KK took me to MenlynMall to celebrate our 1 month anniversary at Cuppacinos Cafe. We were both dressed to impress! and till today I will never forget the view from the table he had reserved us.

Even so.
That day, is when things started going downhill.

As we were walking into the mall, njengenjwayelo, KK went straight towards the "MostWanted" board and after nodding in approval to himself he said we can proceed.

Now, I knew he had a very short temper and an even shorter fuse, but I could tell he's in a good mood that day so..

..after we had ordered our meals, ne-wine yami sengiyiqalile, I summed up that little courage to ask him why he always checks the Criminal Board every time we enter a mall.

His response?

"Ngisuke ngibheka ubuso bami"

(I'm pretty almost quite certain, ngazichamela kancane)

To say I was shocked is an understatement, I was guttered and in disbelief. Seeing this, KK started truck dumping me with details.

Within 20 minutes of him explaining, ngase ngiliginqile ibhodlela le-wine, and had to order another one.

Did I mention that he never drank alcohol?

I couldn't believe this gorgeous man in front of me did all these things, even murder was a norm kuye. Ukubulala bra!

At some point this psychotic man I loved asked me where I thought yonke lemali esiyidlayo comes from ngoba he's never mentioned working a 9-5 (ey pho ngoba lol)

This whole time I had not said a single word, I just listened, wondering if I'm in a movie.

Eventually he begs me to.

Defeated, I asked:
"Baba, what would happen if I were to decide that I don't want to be a part of your lifestyle or in any way be associated with your life?"..

..Basically, I was trying to break up with him without being too obvious, or worse, pissing off my 'hope to be ex'. Phela ngake ngathenjiswa impama not so long back ngoba kuthiwa I talk too much.

KK gave me a gentle grin and responded:

"Awenkosi. Okuqalwe yimi, kuqedwa yimi".

'Okuqalwe yimi, kuqedwa yimi'?
I swear the very second I heard those words, ngavele ngakhanyelwa isithombe somndeni wami uzongilanda ngehlahla. Awucabange nje all the way from Pretoria to eShowe.

Instantly I welcomed the force to stay in the relationship. I did this for my life.

KK was a very jealous man and at the same time he IDOLISED me, his friends weren't even allowed to chit chat with me. And the fact that vele I didn't have any friends made him feel secure.

He disregarded my work colleagues cz so did I.

°
°
Fast forward to the Friday Tee landed;

She wasn't at the station. She had already hooked up u-lift which dropped her off at my house & this dude even bought kak loads of champagne; Tee only kissed him in compensation then blocked him.

Round 11pm KK picked us up & took us to Blueroom with his friends

We Didn't Sleep!

I won't lie, that weekend I had the time of my life! As per expectation, rolling with my main - Tee. We even landed up at some remote safari with KK and his friends, but he didn't like the service.

Inevitably we left earlier than planned - indoda yami was so dramatic kodwa lol.

Sunday emini Tee was scheduled to leave for Durban. She said she hated using the bus when she came up & would rather return using a taxi from Jozi because it's faster. I then offered to drive her to Jozi myself.

Ngihambe ke ngiyobika ku KK (new submissive me)

He permits,

But..

..says he'll send a friend of his to drop off a car for me to drive with to Jozi, because sayikhuluma indaba yePolo Vivo lami, nokungalithandi kwakhe.

Nangempela, thwishi isilahla seAudi esi-automatic sitheleke emagcekeni ami.

In the boot of the car, akutshwala kuyanyiwa!

My smart friend & I decide ngoba vele kusa-early, we'll chill at my place for a little while, drink kancane (in farewell of my bestie ofcourse), and then leave.

Nangempela, two hours later, ngeniyane emotweni.

Ngidakwe nginya ama-receipt aKK!

We start driving. Still drinking.

It's a party nje la emotweni, kumnandi! We reminiscing about the weekend, and yet again, I'm high horsely boasting about how well KK takes care of me.

Next thing, we're looking at a road sign and it says "Vaal".

Haibo, how the fuck did we miss the turnoff?

Sifike kanjani lana?

I immediately call KK.

Akangithukanga kanje umfana jesu!

Receiving no response from me, he eventually says:
"Baby, please find a place called Stonehaven On Vaal, I'll meet you there in a few hours" and drops the call.

We arrive ke at Stonehaven.

Omg that place defines beauty!

Obvious moghel & I continued where we left off. Savula ne-bill. Vele KK will pay
Few hours later, KK arrives ne-crew yakhe (did I mention his friends were even hotter) we chill, kupholwe.

But my alcohol levels were too high. Ngadakwa amasimba! Ngayotipa emotweni ngathi-blackOUT

Ngezwe ngo KK engincinza amathanga, engicela ngiphume emotweni yakhe. Uma ngithi ngiyabhekisisa, haibo we are in front of my gate in Pretoria, lapho njalo mina ngigcine siseVaal.

First thing I do, is check the back seat, so I can tell Tee let's go sleep.

Dololo umngani wami!

Awe:
"KK where is Tee?"

KK:
"Wangibuza umngani wakho ubuthe angimugade yini?"

Awe (confused):
"hawu, lutho, but we were travelling together why wouldn't you make sure she's okay on my behalf?"

KK:
"She's okay, now get out my car"

Awe:
"Okay? Kanjani KK?"

KK:
"Listen, she hit it off with one of my friends and they booked a hotel khona la in town, she's fine"

Now knowing Tee, I undoubtedly knew that was plausible. Unjalo vele umngani wami.

But I was still worried so I took my phone and immediately tried calling her,

VOICEMAIL!

Worried sick I say:
"Okay baba, at least give me i-number kamngani wakho ke so I can make sure"

Weh Kanti ngiyisusile!

Nqamukiyane i-fuse kaKK:
"And how do you think my friend will feel knowing I gave you his number Awenkosi? I told you she's fine, now get the fuck out my car"

Instantaneously, he jumps out the drivers side and comes straight towards mine, to open my door, enginika nesikhwama sami (I'm not breathing)

Ngisaba impama I cautiously jump out.
He gently kisses me on the forehead, says nothing, waits for me to go in the house and drives away.

Lalela, I have never been that worried in my life. I didn't care where Tee was, or what she was doing; what bothered me is that I couldn't get a hold of her to make sure she's okay.

Imagine ukubulawa komuntu (a woman mind you), kubo kwaziwa ukuthi she's visiting YOU ePretoria..

..What would I have possibly said to the police? Ngoba mina bengizidakelwe utshwala the whole damn time and my party ended very early ngaba u-lights out!

Shit, it's Monday morning around 2am and I must report to work at 7.

Thixo, Somandla, Mdali ndizakuyithini kanene ke lento?

I could not sleep to save my life at that point. So I start trying to call KK, needing to explain how worried I am. Maybe he'll call his friend for me or something,

VOICEMAIL

Wenja!!

Manje ngisho ubaby akatholakali?

Mxm, ngivele ngibone ukuthi ayikho lento, and I go to sleep.

Around 6am I called my supervisor to excuse myself from work; then proceeded to trying to get a hold of KK again. I was hoping he'd atleast know the hotel Tee and his friend are booked at, ngiyobheka khona.

In his holy name KK's phone is miraculously on, but Tee's is still off.

Crying I tell KK this is not a game as I've even skipped work because of this rubbish, I need assurity Tee is okay!

In the calmest voice ever
(ey pho ngoba lenja)
KK:
"Good morning maMthembu, ulale kahle kodwa mama? lol, nawe ukuthi you worry too much, even when there's no need"

Awe:
"Stop it with your shit KK, I want my friend"

KK:
"Cha phela you will not talk to me in that manner, noma ufuna ngikubonise ukuthi ubani indoda la?"

(I didn't say a word, so he continued)

KK:
"Get ready, I'm on my way to get you and I will take you to her"

And hangs up.